A Better Way In 2022

The media looked back on the top stories of 2021. While the top story of my life or yours’ in 2021 didn’t make the national or local news we know what it was. Perhaps it was an event, an encouraging word, a memory, a celebration, a disappointing loss, or a lesson learned?  Maybe you learned more about your limitations and in the midst of it, you became more aware of God’s gracious provision.

The New Year provides an opportunity for pause
This time of year many look back by getting out their mental calculators keeping scores of their victories and losses. Most of us hope this year will be better than last. Others approach the New Year with mixed emotions hesitant to let go of the past. Others make overly optimistic and unrealistic plans of how their New Year will look.

Some believe that a good intention means a new beginning, that on their own they can make a new start whenever they want. That would be nice if it was that easy.

What treadmill are you on?
Change is inevitable, but what kind of change? Maybe we need to look at the treadmills we’ve been on? Do we need to change our perspective from ‘this is the way things ought to be according to me?’ Or, look at how we measure success, or maybe it’s living for the approval of others.

These treadmills don’t just distract us from a satisfying life they can consume us
These perspectives can unknowingly trap and rule us. They can suck the energy right out of us and leave us utterly empty. It’s not easy to let go of all the mental stuff we insist we need for our tomorrow along with all the stuff we continue to haul with us from our yesterdays.

One thing that we can all count on this New Year is change
Some changes we gladly choose and others we don’t. Yet, more often than not, despite our high hopes and best efforts we fail to change in the ways God desires. We can’t just grit our teeth and force ourselves to act with compassion. It’s not about trying harder on our own.

Yet, many of us have become far too passive in our pursuit of change and wholeness, and peace. Could in our therapeutic age we have fallen into the passive mindset of “talking through our problems” or “dealing with our issues” or “discovering the roots of our brokenness in our family of origin?”

But I see a more non-passive approach to change in the New Testament. Namely, set your mind.
“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2

Jesus isn’t interested in us being changed into people who only become nicer and more agreeable. God does not ask us to accommodate Him but to live for Him. He has something far more different in mind for us this New Year. God can change your life story this New Year. There is a better way.

Live for what matters to God
All of us who have attempted change and failed to know if this year is going to be any different, we need a new approach. Becoming what God desires of us is not a quick-fix formula. It’s a heart change.

There are certain things and people we cannot change, but there are changes we can make that can leave a lasting impact on other people’s lives if we choose to live for what matters to God. God has been changing the hearts and minds of people and nations for thousands of years and He desires to change yours’ and mine too.

Here’s the deal: God significantly changes our lives when we live out a heart's cry of, “Not my will, but thy will be done. What do you want me to do for You Lord?”  And that will be enough.

The God that changes not, changes everything!
Be grateful that His love for you will never change! That’s one thing you can count on today and forever!

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness. Psalm 26:3; 33:22

Give Gifts That People Really Need

 

Too many of us have unrealistic expectations of what Christmas should be or what it was once and maybe even a sentimental view of the manger. Let’s look at the Christmas story from a different perspective.

I heard once, “If Jesus was at my family’s Christmas he wouldn’t be so optimistic about loving people.” During this season we encounter all kinds of different people. In the Christmas story, there were…

Disappointed people
Zechariah and Elizabeth faithfully served God the best they knew how. Elizabeth was old and barren in an age when being without children was considered a curse or perhaps worse yet, it was because of something you did to displease God.

Perhaps a strained relationship as well. When the priest Zechariah was told by the angel that his wife would have a child Zechariah’s natural response was, “How can I be sure of this, my wife and I are too old and worn out.” As a result of Zechariah’s unbelief, he did not speak until his son John was born.

Stressed out people
All is calm, all is bright. Really? Mary was probably around thirteen when she was pregnant and told Joseph that the father was the Holy Spirit. Joseph: Would you repeat that, please… Needless to say, he didn’t believe her. Are you really going to stay with that story, Mary? Joseph wanted to spare Mary public disgrace and humiliation and planned to quietly divorce her. There was a scandal in Galilee.

Then Joseph was visited by an angel and changed his mind about divorcing Mary and told her that we should just go ahead and get married anyway. They came from a very strict religious place, not unlike where some of us lived. 

They were a poor couple who were financially strapped during tax season and now they're on a difficult long journey with no place to stay. Joseph didn’t even think to call ahead and book the cheapest B&B or Motel 6.

Unsavory people
How many people have ‘The Great’ tacked on after their name like Herod? Paranoid about losing his power to a prophesied Jewish King, Herod ordered the murder of all the boys in Bethlehem who were two years and under. 

Warned by an angel Joseph and Mary took Jesus and fled to Egypt to live in a foreign place with a radically different culture and language and where the locals didn’t really want them around. If they took the Stress Test today they would be off the charts.

Strange and despised people
The Magi were Persians who looked very different than those living in Palestine. They believed in astrology which was strictly forbidden for the Jews. Then there were the dishonest and despised shepherds. If you were a good Jew you didn’t want your daughter hanging out with these guys.

Jesus lived in a world with plenty of people like the ones mentioned, but he gave them love anyway. This Christmas you can give better gifts that people really need.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

The first gift you can give to the difficult people in your life is…
The gift of grace
Jesus asked the woman caught in adultery, “Where are your accusers? There are none Lord, “Neither do I condemn you...” For the son of man came not to condemn the world, but to save it.” John 3:17

There is no one in your life who doesn’t need grace. Everybody needs grace. You might think someone doesn’t deserve grace and you know what, they don’t, but God gives it anyway. Only God knows what they deserve. A lot of times we don’t know their backgrounds and wounds. 

We all have certain leanings, some of us have a high capacity for gratitude, and others of us are constantly whining, but Jesus is full of grace to all of us. Are you? The second gift is...

The gift of truth
Jesus was full of grace, but not just grace. He was also full of truth. Grace without truth isn’t enough to grow in. Jesus was full of grace but also full of truth. It’s really hard to speak the truth sometimes. We might think we’re really good at telling someone the truth.

We can simply share the truth and a person will change. Wow, I really needed that I’m going to change right now. Yet, when we're face to face with someone we struggle with the right words to say.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 The third gift is…

The gift of time
Time is a precious commodity. Some think one conversation will be enough to persuade a person to change. We’re impatient, we want to microwave people. I had one conversation with ______and he didn’t change, what’s the deal?

Jesus tells this great story. There’s this guy who sees a fig tree that looked dead and said, “Let’s cut it down?” The gardener says, “No not yet, give it another year, fertilize and prune it, I’m still working on this tree.” Of course, the gardener (Jesus) is still at work in those whom we might write off.

There have been people in your life for which you’ve tried to help several times and you finally came to a point of actually giving up on them. But you’re not in charge of them. God is working on that tree. He’s working on your tree. 

All you can bring to the table is you. The only heart you can bring to the table is yours. The question is will you bring grace, truth, and time to them? It’s a lot easier to think about it than do it.

Maybe you’re not a grace, truth, and time person, but you can be a conduit for it if you start with this Christmas letting God love you.

Israel was living in a very stressful time in their history and they weren’t sure if they were loved. I can’t really love if I don’t I know I have more than enough love coming my way. God says to them, ‘Even if a mom would forget her child I could never forget you. I love you too much…Your name is engraved in the palm of my hand.’ Isaiah 49:14-15

That was what Jesus did in his life, He showed love to the disappointed people, stressed-out people, unsafe people, embarrassed people, all the difficult people in his life and he gave them grace, truth, and time. Then he went to a cross and stretched out his hands and allowed the cruel spikes to pierce his hands and your name got engraved in his palm.

You see, there are a lot of people who don’t know they’re loved. This could be a Christmas unlike any other. Maybe your pain is so deep; your emotions are so raw you have no idea where to start to love others the way Jesus did. God knows this.

You don’t have to figure out what to do or say. All you have to do is bring your heart to God right now and ask Him to help you let go of your bitterness, resentment, fear, the anxiety that’s been keeping you in your own prison. Help us God to acknowledge that our peace does not come from within ourselves, but from you, for you are our peace.

Merry Christmas

Love Your Enemy

Legend has it that just before painting the faces of the disciples in the Lord’s Supper Leonardo DaVinci had a terrible argument with a fellow artist. He determined to paint his adversary’s face into the portrait is that of Judas Iscariot and thus take revenge by handing down the man in infamy and scorn for generations.

The face of Judas was one of the first he finished and everyone could easily recognize the face of a painter with whom he quarreled. However, when it came time to paint the face of Christ Da Vinci couldn’t make any progress at all. Something seemed to be frustrating even his best efforts.

He realized that the cause of this difficulty was in his bitterness and lack of forgiveness towards his fellow painter. He concluded that you cannot at the same time be painting the features of Christ in your own life and painting another with the colors of hatred and enmity.

King Saul relentlessly and unjustly chased David all over Israel to take his life. In his pursuit of David Saul stopped into a cave to relieve himself unaware that David and his men were hiding in the back of the cave. David had the perfect opportunity to take out Saul. His men said, ‘Saul has tried to kill you several times, so take care of your enemy now and take the throne that is rightfully yours.’ David persuaded his men not to retaliate.

Instead, David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe while he was taking care of business. David didn’t gloat, but his conscience was bothering him about what he did. In response to his conscience, David did an amazingly gracious thing. I Samuel 24:8-13

There is a better way than getting even

David told Saul, ‘You’re listening to inaccurate counsel and wrong information about me.’ David told the person who needed to hear it the most, not to Saul’s men, not to Israel, but Saul himself. He spoke to the person with whom his battle was with.

When we have been wronged it's important to graciously convey the truth to the person involved no matter who they are, even if it's the king. Some tend to think to leave it alone, it will work out. David did not.

The desire for revenge is one of the most subtle temptations in life

Saul thought was, ‘If you don’t hate David as much as I do, then you’re my enemy.’ When we label someone as bad we can feel justified in getting back. 

Resentment and retaliation reduce us to the one who did that awful thing to me.

Saul didn’t want a civil conversation he wanted revenge. Today, vengeance can be disguised as ‘My rights.’ It wasn’t fair, so I’ll get you back! I’m not talking about national defense here, but personal harm is done to us. How often should we seek revenge? God doesn’t say sometimes, but “Vengeance is mine.”

David was unjustly and severely mistreated by Saul. At that very vulnerable time in the cave, David could have exacted revenge. His friends would have applauded, but he would have had to live with his decision for the rest of his life. 

The blame game is lame

What about you? If you’re holding a grudge toward someone and treating them accordingly it will not turn out well for you and those around you. For your own sake and others ask God to free you from the ball and chain you’re dragging around.

If there’s any blame leave it with God, don’t live with it. Maybe God can’t finish his masterpiece in your life until the enmity you have with someone is gone when giving it to Him. As the grateful forgiven Apostle Paul said…

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. Romans 12:19

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. Martin Luther King

When life’s subtle temptation of retaliation draws you in, refuse to give into it. You’ll never regret forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this, you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:8-9

 

What to Do With An Unwanted Gift?

 

Today even before we open a gift often the giver will say, “Don’t worry I have a gift receipt. If you don’t like you can return it.” For many Christmas can have a way of intensifying our highs and our lows. We can celebrate our highs yet our lows can seem lower.

Part of the Christmas story is one of an unwanted gift|
There is not much mentioned about Joseph. There are no recorded words of Joseph, but he was not a passive bystander. He was faced with one of the most unwanted gifts anyone could ever imagine. His response changed his life and has the power to change yours’.

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was ‘pledged’ to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.  Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph was ‘pledged’ to Mary, in other words, they didn’t meet on Match.com or dated to see if their relationship would develop into something more serious. Their marriage was arranged by their families. It’s possible they didn’t know each other all that well. Their betrothal period lasted six months before the consummation of their marriage.

We read that Joseph was a ‘righteous’ man. He was consecrated in his Hebrew faith. He faithfully attended the synagogue, he knew, memorized, and kept the Torah and observed the Jewish feasts. Being called a righteous man meant he was well respected in his community.

Joseph could have heard rumors about Mary’s pregnancy before Mary told him the father was the Holy Spirit. It would be understandable that Joseph was deeply disappointed in Mary and hearing the news from the village gossip. His parent’s dreams for him and his own were absolutely shattered at the news of Mary’s pregnancy. Joseph was heartbroken and dismayed.

The consequences for an adulterer would be a public stoning. After hearing the news no wonder Joseph was considering divorcing Mary, but to save her from public humiliation and disgrace he kept his vow to marry her. He was a good man. There was no requirement for Joseph to bring Mary on the long difficult journey to Bethlehem. Could it be that he took her to protect her?

Before the angel confirmed Mary’s explanation Joseph was afraid of what would happen next. Why was he afraid? His mind was racing knowing his decision would be extremely costly in taking on a wife that was thought to be an adulterer. He knew that his son was not his and would be constantly called nasty names growing up.

Perhaps Mary’s family and friends would shun her and or worse yet disown her? Maybe their families would not attend their eventual wedding day? Would his good reputation be mired forever in scandal?  There was a lot on the line for Joseph. He was in a place of, ‘I don’t understand God, I’m afraid, what are you doing here? I really need to hear from you.’ Have you ever been there? Most of us have.

Three Ways We Can Respond to this story 
Don’t be afraid
“and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”)
God did address Joseph’s fears through the angel that God was with Him in his overwhelming situation even though it would continue to be very hard for him. God promises that He is with us in whatever situation we’re facing no matter how long and despite how difficult.

Take a risk
Joseph took an unbelievable risk in taking Mary as his wife. To choose to love Mary knowing that the future would be hard for both of them, but somehow God would make a way. Joseph’s love, faith, and perseverance deeply mattered to God. So does yours’ and mine.

Commit yourself to God

Do you think Joseph regretted his decision in taking Mary as his wife? He didn’t have a gift receipt to return the gift he didn’t want or ask for. Despite all the tribulations Joseph would endure because of his decision do you think he regretted seeing his son grow up and teaching him his carpentry trade?

Do you think he regretted the long walks and conversations with his son? Do you think he regretted seeing his son’s gracious wise counsel to those he met? It was hard to hear the slurs about his son, but do you think he regretted seeing his son redeem people’s lives? God rewarded Joseph’s commitment to Him.

What about you? Like Joseph will you trust God that He will be ‘with you’ in your difficult circumstances? Trust that whatever is on your plate God is more capable than you expect. 

Although you might not see it now if you take a risk to commit to love someone God will reward you in ways you never imagined. Perhaps like Joseph, you’ll see your commitment bear fruit that will change people’s lives forever.

Compassion and Humility in a Divisive World

How can we live in harmony in such a divisive world? Last week we looked at two heart attitudes that can foster harmony. There are two more significant heart postures that can help us develop new meaningful lasting relationships and improve our current ones.

Compassionate Heart
Showing compassion takes sympathy a step further. There are two ways we can show compassion in our relationships:

What we say.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Does this verse characterize your speech and lifestyle?  Words that build others up makes other people appreciate you’re around, it meets needs. Or are your words like bombs filled with hurt and pain? Part of reducing conflict is choosing the right words at the right time in the right place.

How we act.
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

What can I do for you?  Rate yourself on  a compassion scale of 1 to 10. If the people closest to you say your prevalent attitude is, “How can you make my life better?” give yourself a 1-2.
Give yourself a 9 if you are constantly looking for ways to make life better for others.

Humble Heart
When we’re unwilling to compromise it’s highly likely that we’ll have little harmony or resolution in our lives. Humility is recognizing we don’t have it altogether and being honest with our weaknesses, our failings and willing to admit our mistakes. I’m willing to say four words, “I need your help.” To say you need help takes humility. 

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment. Romans 12:3

Humility also enables me to say I was wrong. It’s hard to be honest and vulnerable isn’t it? Humility is able to say, “forgive me.” It may be hard for some to say that, but when we remember how much God has graced our lives and forgiven us we can say, “I’m sorry I was wrong, please forgive me.”

Scripture encourages us to bear one another’s burdens, but how do I know what’s yours’ or how do you know what’s mine unless we share it?

How would you rate your level of humility 1 to 10? If you can’t back down and are defensive and can’t admit your wrong and ask forgiveness give yourself a 1. If you haven’t said “I was wrong” since 2000 give yourself a 1.” Give yourself a 9 if you can easily ask other people for help and admit that you’re wrong. You get the idea.

Join us next time for more heart attitudes that fosters harmony and improves our relationships.