You Can Help Others

As we saw in our previous blog Don Ritchie saved lives. He didn’t seek or need recognition. He didn’t bother to keep a record of it. Some of those he helped did not even say thank you. Don’t forget, ten lepers were healed by Jesus, but only one bothered to return with gratitude. But, make no mistake, Jesus will remember and even reward our every effort made in his name.

In our busy world, we want to schedule everything around our calendars. To be sure, organizing and finding balance in our lives is important. However, I’ve noticed that the most meaningful encounters are in unscheduled moments. Our scheduled busy lives can get in the way of being present in people’s lives. We get distracted far too easily.

Weapons of mass distraction
We surround ourselves with diversions – busy entertaining distractions are everywhere. Os Guinness said, “We modern people are not only surrounded by diversions we are mesmerized by them, and we rarely let our minds to think beyond them.”

With all the noise in this world who can hear anything, especially someone crying out for help. Far too many tell themselves, ‘I will engage with that person ‘later’ when it’s convenient or when I have more time, I will reach out to them.’ Sound familiar?

The ministry of presence trusts and celebrates God’s work in people
God knows a person’s whole story, and he doesn’t give up on anyone. We, on the other hand, can give up on people. It is a natural aspect of our fallen nature to judge and condemn instead of loving and helping other people.

In spite of all the havoc, Saul of Tarsus wrecked on the early church. Barnabas went to Troas to look for Saul and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch (Acts 11:25-26) Saul was public enemy number one for the early church. Yet Barnabas trusted in God’s work in Saul’s life and he even took the initiative to “look for” Saul in his hometown.

Whom are you looking for? Who are the people who society, even the church, may have given up on or forgotten? Yes, our support of someone may involve accountability, but it should also be marked by compassion. I thank God for the friends who believed in God’s work in my early walk with Christ.

Your presence doesn’t require an official prerequisite
After Don Ritchie’s fifty years of practicing being present for others at the Gap, most if not all of Don’s award recognitions occurred in his eighties.

“My ambition has always been to just get them away from the edge, to buy them time, to give them the opportunity to reflect and give them the chance to realize that things might look better the next morning.” Don Ritchie

Don sought opportunities to show up at the right moment. Don shows us that anyone can make a difference! Unfortunately, too many people ignore loved ones or family members who are clearly in mental anguish. They do not know what to say, so they say and do nothing. This is a huge mistake.

You may not be an expert, but your care and compassion are essential. Your presence is needed. Over time many believers have discovered that they cannot just quote a bible verse to someone who is in trouble, they also need to be present in their lives at that moment. The Bible is powerful to be sure, but it is most powerful and effective when it is experienced in the context of relationships.

According to psychologist Larry Crabb, when someone is experiencing mental and emotional trauma, non-experts are just as important as experts in the healing equation. Crabb’s research over the years compared the effectiveness of professional therapists to lay counselors and found that lay counselors are generally as effective as professional therapists for the most common problems.

The importance of his point is not that therapists are ineffective or are unimportant, but rather, everyday people need to know that they can help when friends and family face problems. As a pastor, I’ve met hundreds of parents and friends who regret that they did nothing when a loved one was paralyzed in the quicksand of a crisis.

We can learn from the example of Don Ritchie. You don’t need prepared remarks, but a compassionate listening heart. Don Ritchie asked a simple question with a smile, “Can I help you in some way?”

You can say that too! Now, go ahead…

 

Your Presence Matters To Others

Don Ritchie moved in across the road from the cliffs that overlook Australia’s beautiful Sydney Harbor where he lived until his death back in 2012. The sheer cliffs of what has been called the ‘Gap’ offered the most picturesque views of the Tasman Sea but also attracted desperate men and women pondering suicide.

Living just 200 feet from the edge of the sheer cliffs Mr. Ritchie would regularly approach individuals who were lingering a little too long overlooking the cliffs and would ask them, “Can I help you in some way?” He had a keen sense to spot would-be suicides and became known as the Angel of the gap. Officials credited Don with preventing 160 deaths, but according to his family, the number is actually 400 - 500. He would invite the hurting individuals contemplating suicide to his home for tea.

“I used to sell kitchen scales and then I was a manager of a life insurance company. At the Gap, I’m trying to sell people life.”

Always remember the power of the simple smile, a helping hand, a listening ear, and a kind word."
                                                                                                                                 - Don Ritchie
 

 Don’s presence saved people’s lives
You are never more like Jesus than when you with great concern (not condemnation, anger or frustration) intervene with someone in their time of affliction. Your faith is never more real than when you inconvenience your schedule to help someone who is in their time of pain.

“A godless world has no time for the outcast, marginalized, and inconveniences of other people. Jesus’ clear words from Matthew 25 turn our attention to the fact that the ‘ministry of presence is all about not missing the opportunities in the mundane moments of life.” Jeremiah Johnston

The ministry of presence is in the unscheduled moments of life
Busyness can be the greatest enemy of wise thinking and an enemy of mental health. Busyness and distractions definitely define our times. Think of how “On-Demand” is offered from education to entertainment and how we are encouraged to binge on this or that.

Jesus’ own words reflect the tension of being in his presence in the midst of distracting busy living.

“For I was hungry a and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me… and when did we see that you sick or in prison and visit you?…“Truly I say to you, as you do that to one of the least of these you did it to me.” Matthew 25:31-46

Jesus’ parable shows the reality that the most basic needs of people are met by others: food, drink, shelter, clothing, medical help, and care during imprisonment. Jesus shows us that in meeting the simplest needs, even the basic needs of life, He can meet every need in life; however, Jesus uses people.  He doesn’t use FedEx or a drone from heaven to your doorstep. God works through people like you and me. 

In our extremely busy world, we schedule everything around our calendars. It’s important to plan and be good stewards of our time, however, life-changing encounters occur in the unscheduled moments of life. 

God enjoys surprising us with his presence!
May we be more aware of how our presence in other people’s lives can be the very thing someone desperately needs and like Don Ritchie, your presence can bring life to others!

The next blog will continue with how your presence really does matters to someone.

 

The Shepherd Is In Your Valley

There is a swinging pendulum of opinions about safety, opening back up or shutting back down, COVID testing, PPE, equality, social justice and, a lot more. It’s no surprise that worry and fear is a reasonable response to what’s happening in our world. 

Recently, I’ve talked with several pastors and they say that the common thread among their churches is anxiety and fear. They’re not worried about their health and safety, so much as they are about job security and this month’s bills, rent or mortgage? Will their kids go to school in the fall? Are my savings at risk? Should we cancel vacations and business trips and not visit older loves ones.

The non-stop angry divisiveness and violence in our country fosters even more anxiety. The list of anxieties is long, but they’re not new. All of us have experienced anxiety, disappointment, and grief. If we're honest we’ve also felt lost before for a variety of reasons, in not knowing what to do or where to go or who to talk to.

Being lost is not just a GPS malfunction
Too many know what it means to be disconnected, discounted, diminished, or demeaned. Life has many dark valleys through which we must walk. When we do feel lost, we need someone to show us the way back home. A good shepherd will leave the ninety-nine sheep to find the lost one.  

In the winter shepherds in mountainous areas usually keep their sheep at home. There's usually a fenced area where they can graze and where they are fed grain. But when the snows subside in the mountains, it is then that the shepherds take their flocks and move with the snowmelt up the mountain, there finding fresh pasture land, eventually moving up to the timberline. Above the timberline, there are all types of pastures that are green and fresh. The air is clean. The water is clear.

In the summer shepherds usually won't even go home. They'll just sleep out with their sheep at night. It’s shepherd's responsibility to care for them, to know the canyons and the valleys, to scout them out, to know where the dangers are, and to pick the path that, while still dangerous is the safest path of all.

The shepherd protects the sheep from predators and provides their nourishment
If a lamb deliberately walks away, the shepherd searches near and far to get that lamb back. He’ll use his staff to redirect the sheep who get off course. A shepherd notches the ear of a lamb born to his flock because he has rightful ownership of it. They are His.

To the shepherd, the sheep are not just a number, but a face, a name and, a story. The Good Shepherd knows your name, your life and He knows what’s best for you. He’s proven Himself and is worthy of your trust.

We all have deep, dark valleys of our own experiences and we don't all call them by the same name. Make your own list. What are those things that you fear? It doesn't take any of us long to come up with a list of what could happen.

Here’s the deal: What I need to do is what we all need to do: trust the shepherd.
The Lord is God, he is in charge, and he is in control. He knows things that we would never be able to know. He's close. He understands. He has it all figured out. He is greater than the greatest difficulty. He is more powerful than the deepest and the darkest of your valleys.

He's there with you even when it’s so dark you can’t see. The Lord will do the job that a shepherd is supposed to do. He will do what he is capable of doing and he promises that he will be with you and never leave you. He will find you and take you home with Him. If you’ve been wounded or sick, He’ll pick you up and carry you all the way home.

In Psalms 23, notice the personal pronouns of "I" walk through the valley…"My" shepherd. "You" are there. It is one-on-one with God. The Good Shepherd is always there with you. He sticks closer than the best of friends.

When you walk through that dark deep valley, be sure to be the Lord's sheep, to claim him as your shepherd, to trust him alone to get you through. When he is so trusted, he who is always there will be with you even until the ends of the earth.

A Song of Hope for You

Were all marked by songs aren’t we?
Some songs bring back memories or bring us to tears. Songs can leave an impact upon us. Songs can change things. Certain songs stand out when we’re celebrating or grieving. Most of us sing when things are going great, but what if they’re not, can we still sing?

Zechariah sang from the depths of his heart for his love for his son John and the hope of Israel. Miraculously Zach’s wife gave birth to their son and Zach broke out into his celebrative song, Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied:  “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come and has redeemed his people.”   Luke 1:67-68

Notice Zach’s three words about Israel’s long awaited Messiah, ‘He has come’ John 1:1-4, 14 

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel (God is with us) Isaiah 7:14.

After years of waiting, God’s divine visitation had ‘finally’ come to Israel just as God had promised! Israel had been wondering when their God would speak again? After four hundred years of silence since the prophet Malachi spoke God fulfilled His promise as he said He would!
How long have you been waiting for something or someone?

Are you in a long winter of waiting and are feeling kind of hopeless and losing your sense of purpose? Maybe you’ve become cold and numb and in desperate need of a touch from God? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve gotten into? Maybe you’re worried about your future?

Then, you need to hear Zechariah’s chorus, He has come to redeem His people to give us hope for today and our future! He has come to reveal His Son to show His extravagant love to you. He wants to assure you that He knows everything about you and cares about you. You are His work of art that is yet to be completed!

In the midst our winter of discontent sometimes we can’t see clearly.
We might not even be able to see our own reality. We might be blinded by our own grief and tears. If so, hear the encouraging words of Isaiah.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.  Isaiah 42:16

When things seem hopeless and uncertain be encouraged that, ’He has come’ for you too! Yes, He has come to bring light into your darkness and mine. Jesus came to live and die for you so that you could truly know Him and be His now and forever!  Now, that is something to sing about don’t you think?

Everyone sings something. What will your song be? May you join me this Christmas season in knowing that Zechariah’s chorus ‘HE HAS COME’ can be your song too!

A Very Warm Merry Christmas to you,

Mark

When God Says No

We all have been told no to something that we really wanted. It might have been about a job, a relationship, a goal or a worthy pursuit. We can be so sure about something that it’s a given to us. Most of us don’t’ want to hear a no, especially if it’s for a good cause. Yet, could you imagine if God said yes to everyone’s request?  

After the king was settled in his palace and the LORD had given him rest from all his enemies around him. David said to Nathan the prophet, "Here I am, living in a palace of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent."  Nathan replied to the king, "Whatever you have in mind, go ahead and do it, for the LORD is with you." 2 Samuel 7:1-3

During a time of Israel’s relative peace King David desired to build the temple for the Ark of the Covenant. It was certainly a great godly goal. Like David, during times of peace and relative calm we too can think to ourselves that this is what I’m going to do, but is it God leading you? Our passionate desire might be a great plan, but it might not be God’s plan.

We all have sincere friends like Nathan who can say to us “Go for it David” and later to find out it’s not God at all. That’s hard to hear indeed, especially after a prophet tells you to go for it.

That night the word of God came to Nathan, saying: "Go and tell my servant David, 'This is what the LORD says: You are not the one to build me a house to dwell in.” 1 Chronicles 17:3-4

Now then, tell my servant David, “This is what the LORD Almighty says: I took you from the pasture and from following the flock to be ruler over my people Israel.  I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men of the earth.

When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body (Solomon), and I will establish his kingdom.  He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.  

                                                                                                                  2 Samuel 7:8-9, 12-13

One of the hardest things in life is to have a vision or a goal and God uses someone else to carry it out. That’s hard stuff, yet that is what happened with David. Here’s David’s response to God’s no.

Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? … And as if this were not enough in your sight. What more can David say to you?  For you know your servant, O Sovereign LORD.  2 Sam.7:18-20

What an excellent response from David. God, you are so good to me! Can you say that too? God said no to David even though his intentions were noble. It does bring up the question though, is it wrong to dream like this? Absolutely not!!

Have you ever wanted to do great things for God? I hope so. When God said no to your plans what was your response? We so desperately want our reasoning to be God’s reasoning. When we do get a no we can become hurt and disillusioned. Getting a no does not mean we are being disciplined for poor choices or faulty logic. 

Like David, our intentions may be good, but we need not force our passionate will.

God doesn’t ask everybody to build temples, but he does call everyone to some purpose. Many would have been extremely devastated, but David praised God. God’s will was more important to David than his own desire or need. Some day we shall understand that God has a reason for every NO. 

Join us next time to learn more how we can experience acceptance and contentment when God says no.

Hope and Healing in Loss

Countless people are secretly burdened by loss in some form. They've lost someone that was deeply valued or experienced a broken relationship that seems beyond repair? For others it’s an incurable chronic health issue that has brought them to a place of helplessness and despair. The question is where do we go and what do we do with our losses?

Many in the midst of loss say they live in a place that feels like others are on the ‘outside’ who cannot fully understand without having experienced it themselves. Novelist Aleksandar Hemon refers to grief, “As living inside an aquarium that those on the outside could see in to a degree, but those inside the glass led a completely alien existence.”

When deep tragedies leave us feeling angry or helpless what does it look like to place our trust in God? How can we mourn with those who mourn and allow for grace and healing in our relationships and communities?

Grief is the emotional, psychological and mental experience that results from having lost someone or something deeply loved or valued. Mourning, on the other hand is something we do collectively and externally. According to Dr. Dean Nelson, “Mourning is something we do with the people around us—something that the community does.”

In the Time article by Ruth Davis Konigsberg says, “Grief is not a series of steps that ultimately bring us to a psychological finish line, but a grab bag of symptoms that come and go and, eventually, simply lift.” Grief can be a rollercoaster of emotional spirals. Certain memories from places, times and events related to our loss can bring so much distress we can avoid moving through the grieving process altogether.

Sometimes, instead of moving into the grief, we move away from it in hopes of removing the distress. This may provide short term relief, but can prolong the grieving process.

Grief is something not fully understood
There is no outline. There is no prescription for “getting through” the grieving process.  “The temptation to understand the grieving process through an overly simplistic framework or faulty assumptions can be damaging to those in the midst of their grief, causing even isolation, pain and resentment.”– Christopher Hazell

The way people grieve is just as varied as the uniqueness of their relationships with the people for whom they’re grieving. In A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis describes his own debilitating grief after the loss of his wife; “I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll ‘say something about it or not. I hate if they do, and if they don’t.” Grief is messy and unpredictable.

A place of comfort
Knowing that grief can be a slow process how can Christ followers come along side to provide a place of refuge? Believers are called to bring love and restoration to those who suffer in our midst which includes grief and mourning. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5  This verse implies that mourning is not only acceptable, but has permissive expression in the church. Yet knowing this does the church, do we, do you comfort others?

We don’t do grief here
Our culture has impacted the way we respond to those who are hurting? Sadness doesn’t sell, so let’s move on quickly to a more positive perspective. Some don’t want to listen to someone’s suffering.

By tucking lament under the pews we lose out on a supremely biblical form of worship. Two-thirds of the Psalms are composed of lament psalms. Lament as a form of worship is overwhelmingly present. Walter Brueggemann, an Old Testament scholar and theologian refers to grief as “An awareness that things in our world are broken, bruised, and seemingly beyond repair- an experience of disorientation.”

If we don’t allow a space for honesty with God or the opportunity to have gut-level conversations with God our faith journey is stunted. This can lead to a cardboard faith based on fear and we lose out on an authentic relationship with God because were not honest with Him about our sufferings, struggles and fears. We pretend all is well, even though it isn’t. Jesus cried out from the cross Psalm 22:1, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”

God’s people need not to turn away from lament, but include it in the worship of our daily lives.

Grief in social mediaAt what point does being informed become problematic? Barriers seem nonexistent. With Face Book and Twitter there are no boundaries around when were exposed to events that call for mourning. With back to back exposures from the birth of baby to a bomb in Paris we can become numb and mayhem becomes mundane.

While posting grief on social media has be very helpful for many it can also be used to undermine the very thing it purports: Building community and connection. If used in place of real human connection it can be damaging and even dehumanizing. We can substitute social media for actual physical presence. 

Social media can be easier, but can be a shallow way to reach out to those in grief without any physical interactions. While there is no doubt that social media can be a gift to help us connect and foster community, but not at the expense of real human connection.

Loving others in griefThose in grief don’t need someone to “fix them” but someone to come alongside them without answers, clichés or expectations, but walk with them through a time of sorrow. When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ tomb and was told of His friend’s death. He wept. At times that is what is needed most.

Often we want to simplify and expedite the grieving process. All though it may be well-intentioned, loving someone in grief is never as simple as quoting scripture, praying with them, giving them space, or even crying with them. They may need all these things at different times, or perhaps none of them.”- Christopher Hazell

It may not seem like enough, but sometimes all we can offer is letting someone know they are loved  we are with them.When we process grief we can develop a deeper heart capacity to help others grieve. Being more compassionate is at heart of what Christ is all about.  As we process grief ourselves and with others may we be reminded that this world is not our ultimate home, we were made for a place without tears.

The end of mourning
We live in a broken world with much sorrow and we are not meant to do it alone. We have others who can help us and also the joy of knowing Jesus’ promise that he will always be with us. As Christ followers we can look forward to the day when we will experience our ultimate healing with our God who has measured all our tears.