Love Your Enemy

Legend has it that just before painting the faces of the disciples in the Lord’s Supper Leonardo DaVinci had a terrible argument with a fellow artist. He determined to paint his adversary’s face into the portrait is that of Judas Iscariot and thus take revenge by handing down the man in infamy and scorn for generations.

The face of Judas was one of the first he finished and everyone could easily recognize the face of a painter with whom he quarreled. However, when it came time to paint the face of Christ Da Vinci couldn’t make any progress at all. Something seemed to be frustrating even his best efforts.

He realized that the cause of this difficulty was in his bitterness and lack of forgiveness towards his fellow painter. He concluded that you cannot at the same time be painting the features of Christ in your own life and painting another with the colors of hatred and enmity.

King Saul relentlessly and unjustly chased David all over Israel to take his life. In his pursuit of David Saul stopped into a cave to relieve himself unaware that David and his men were hiding in the back of the cave. David had the perfect opportunity to take out Saul. His men said, ‘Saul has tried to kill you several times, so take care of your enemy now and take the throne that is rightfully yours.’ David persuaded his men not to retaliate.

Instead, David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe while he was taking care of business. David didn’t gloat, but his conscience was bothering him about what he did. In response to his conscience, David did an amazingly gracious thing. I Samuel 24:8-13

There is a better way than getting even

David told Saul, ‘You’re listening to inaccurate counsel and wrong information about me.’ David told the person who needed to hear it the most, not to Saul’s men, not to Israel, but Saul himself. He spoke to the person with whom his battle was with.

When we have been wronged it's important to graciously convey the truth to the person involved no matter who they are, even if it's the king. Some tend to think to leave it alone, it will work out. David did not.

The desire for revenge is one of the most subtle temptations in life

Saul thought was, ‘If you don’t hate David as much as I do, then you’re my enemy.’ When we label someone as bad we can feel justified in getting back. 

Resentment and retaliation reduce us to the one who did that awful thing to me.

Saul didn’t want a civil conversation he wanted revenge. Today, vengeance can be disguised as ‘My rights.’ It wasn’t fair, so I’ll get you back! I’m not talking about national defense here, but personal harm is done to us. How often should we seek revenge? God doesn’t say sometimes, but “Vengeance is mine.”

David was unjustly and severely mistreated by Saul. At that very vulnerable time in the cave, David could have exacted revenge. His friends would have applauded, but he would have had to live with his decision for the rest of his life. 

The blame game is lame

What about you? If you’re holding a grudge toward someone and treating them accordingly it will not turn out well for you and those around you. For your own sake and others ask God to free you from the ball and chain you’re dragging around.

If there’s any blame leave it with God, don’t live with it. Maybe God can’t finish his masterpiece in your life until the enmity you have with someone is gone when giving it to Him. As the grateful forgiven Apostle Paul said…

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. Romans 12:19

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. Martin Luther King

When life’s subtle temptation of retaliation draws you in, refuse to give into it. You’ll never regret forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this, you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:8-9

 

What to Do With An Unwanted Gift?

 

Today even before we open a gift often the giver will say, “Don’t worry I have a gift receipt. If you don’t like you can return it.” For many Christmas can have a way of intensifying our highs and our lows. We can celebrate our highs yet our lows can seem lower.

Part of the Christmas story is one of an unwanted gift|
There is not much mentioned about Joseph. There are no recorded words of Joseph, but he was not a passive bystander. He was faced with one of the most unwanted gifts anyone could ever imagine. His response changed his life and has the power to change yours’.

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was ‘pledged’ to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.  Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph was ‘pledged’ to Mary, in other words, they didn’t meet on Match.com or dated to see if their relationship would develop into something more serious. Their marriage was arranged by their families. It’s possible they didn’t know each other all that well. Their betrothal period lasted six months before the consummation of their marriage.

We read that Joseph was a ‘righteous’ man. He was consecrated in his Hebrew faith. He faithfully attended the synagogue, he knew, memorized, and kept the Torah and observed the Jewish feasts. Being called a righteous man meant he was well respected in his community.

Joseph could have heard rumors about Mary’s pregnancy before Mary told him the father was the Holy Spirit. It would be understandable that Joseph was deeply disappointed in Mary and hearing the news from the village gossip. His parent’s dreams for him and his own were absolutely shattered at the news of Mary’s pregnancy. Joseph was heartbroken and dismayed.

The consequences for an adulterer would be a public stoning. After hearing the news no wonder Joseph was considering divorcing Mary, but to save her from public humiliation and disgrace he kept his vow to marry her. He was a good man. There was no requirement for Joseph to bring Mary on the long difficult journey to Bethlehem. Could it be that he took her to protect her?

Before the angel confirmed Mary’s explanation Joseph was afraid of what would happen next. Why was he afraid? His mind was racing knowing his decision would be extremely costly in taking on a wife that was thought to be an adulterer. He knew that his son was not his and would be constantly called nasty names growing up.

Perhaps Mary’s family and friends would shun her and or worse yet disown her? Maybe their families would not attend their eventual wedding day? Would his good reputation be mired forever in scandal?  There was a lot on the line for Joseph. He was in a place of, ‘I don’t understand God, I’m afraid, what are you doing here? I really need to hear from you.’ Have you ever been there? Most of us have.

Three Ways We Can Respond to this story 
Don’t be afraid
“and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”)
God did address Joseph’s fears through the angel that God was with Him in his overwhelming situation even though it would continue to be very hard for him. God promises that He is with us in whatever situation we’re facing no matter how long and despite how difficult.

Take a risk
Joseph took an unbelievable risk in taking Mary as his wife. To choose to love Mary knowing that the future would be hard for both of them, but somehow God would make a way. Joseph’s love, faith, and perseverance deeply mattered to God. So does yours’ and mine.

Commit yourself to God

Do you think Joseph regretted his decision in taking Mary as his wife? He didn’t have a gift receipt to return the gift he didn’t want or ask for. Despite all the tribulations Joseph would endure because of his decision do you think he regretted seeing his son grow up and teaching him his carpentry trade?

Do you think he regretted the long walks and conversations with his son? Do you think he regretted seeing his son’s gracious wise counsel to those he met? It was hard to hear the slurs about his son, but do you think he regretted seeing his son redeem people’s lives? God rewarded Joseph’s commitment to Him.

What about you? Like Joseph will you trust God that He will be ‘with you’ in your difficult circumstances? Trust that whatever is on your plate God is more capable than you expect. 

Although you might not see it now if you take a risk to commit to love someone God will reward you in ways you never imagined. Perhaps like Joseph, you’ll see your commitment bear fruit that will change people’s lives forever.

The Impact of Our Words

Rabbi Joseph Telushkln, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout country on the powerful and often negative impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to another person.

Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands with a “yes.” Others laugh, and quite a large number call out. “no!” The Rabbi says that, “If you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.”

Words do have the power to heal or to harm. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Prov. 18:21). Our words can bring delight or destruction, hurt or encouragement What kind of words do you speak? All of us have said things we wish we hadn’t.  

Our words can be liberating or distance us from others who are closest to us. If you speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. Proverbs tells us that out of the overflow of our heart the mouth speaks.

Words mean a lot to God. He created the world with His spoken word.  God says He hates hurtful words (Prov.6:16-19), but that encouraging words are like “apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11). That sounds nice, but apparently difficult to do.  Many never learn to control their tongues.

James says that our tongue can be as destructive as a forest fire (James 3:5-6).  The Bible says our words can be just as destructive.

The Hayman fire was a forest fire that started fire started in a campground northwest of Lake George 95 mile southwest of Denver on June 8, 2002, and became the largest of the Colorado wildfires in the state's recorded history. Hundreds of firefighters fought the fast-moving fire, which caused nearly $40 million in firefighting costs, burned 133 homes, 138,114 acres, and forced the evacuation of 5,340 people.

The fire wasn't contained until July 2, 2002 and was finally brought under control on July 18, 2002. About a week later Terry Barton who was Fire Prevention tech for the US Forestry was arrested  after admitting she accidentally started the fire by burning a letter from her estranged husband.

Words can promote healing by understanding and changing their impact.

First, we need to understand the emotional and mental impact of our words.Reckless words pierce like a sword…Prov. 12:18a Words injure us, they get inside of us. They can be unintended verbal terminators that can break someone’s spirit. What about you, have you ever wished you could take some of your words back? Before you speak consider…

Gentle words are a tree of life; but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Prov.15:4). The tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov. 12:18 b).

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up…Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time…Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Prov. 16:24 Prov. 12:25; 15:23; 16:24

Secondly, our words impact our relationships.
For many of us our mouth has been the shipwreck of many of our relationships. All of us have blown it, so tune and listen. We all need to be far more careful with our words and to whom we speak them to.  

British shock jock Tim Shaw may have finally learned a valuable lesson about the consequences of our words. While working his usual 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. shift, Shaw told the pin-up girl he was interviewing—on air—that he was willing to leave his wife and two kids for her.

Minutes later, his wife Hayley, created an eBay auction for her husband’s car, a Lotus Turbo. The auction page was almost completely blank except for a picture of the car and the following words: “I need to get rid of this car immediately—ideally in the next 2-3 hours before my cheating jerk husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street, you can pick it up tonight.”

The car-valued at approximately $45,000-was listed with a Buy-lt-Now for fifty pence or about 90 cents. The auction lasted exactly 5 minutes and 3 seconds before anonymous buyer paid for it and drove away. A later interview with reporters, Mrs. Shaw said that she was, “sick of Tim constantly disrespecting our family for the sake of his act.” 
When asked about the price of the Lotus she said, “I just wanted to get him back.”  Four days after the car was sold, the anonymous buyer left the following feedback on Mrs. Shaw’s eBay account: “Thank you, Hayley, the car is excellent and thank your hubby.”

What we say does have consequences.

Find out more how our words impact our present and future in the next blog. 

With Hope,

Mark

Everybody Needs A Goliath

Goliath had it all. He was a first round NBA draft pick and fought on the WWF. He was nine feet tall and wore 175 pounds of armor. He exuded self- confidence and was used to winning. You didn’t want to mess with this guy! I have Goliaths and so do you. Inevitably, we all will face our Goliath whether it’s a person, place or situation.

For forty days Goliath had been taunting and targeting Israel’s fears by shouting across the valley, “You want some of me?” Our giants shout at us as well and we too can become overwhelmed. The Goliath test TODAY is preparation for your tomorrow.  Deut. 8:16

David’s focus was on God and NOT in his ability or even on their enemy! He wanted to please God the best he could when his people had forgotten that God had fought for them over the years. They had seen it and they heard about it. Israel had been dominated by the Philistines. They had Goliath Phobia. After 40 days they died a little each day and each day developed more cowardice. If we cower long enough we can lose our self-respect.

You can overcome your Goliath by how you respond to four personal challenges:
The challenge of criticism and opposition
While we don’t like criticism and opposition it has the potential to develop our courage. At his dad’s request David came to the battle to check in on his brothers and his oldest brother launched into him.

When Eliab, David's oldest brother, heard him speaking with the other men he burned with anger at him and asked, "Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle." "Now what have I done?" said David. "Can't I even speak?" I Samuel 17:28-29

Why the cheap shots, especially from family? Was Eliab jealous because of Samuel anointing his younger brother with oil in the presence of all his brothers? David could have wasted his time with the unfair and inaccurate accusation, but he knew who the real enemy was.  He knew who to fight and who to leave alone. Do you?

Some people are threatened by our desire to follow God and face our Goliath when they know they won’t. David’s boldness struck shame and Eliab was jealous of David’s courage. Many people avoid criticism at all costs.

You know what? You’ll face opposition when you honor God. It’s just going to happen. We can lose heart and be defensive all our life. Do we really want that?  The best I can tell is that David wanted to do what God has called him to do. If you want to overcome your Goliath it will depend on how you respond to criticism and opposition.

The challenge of everyday choices
The way we make our daily choices can help us overcome our giants. There are no short cuts to victory or easy routes. Every day David made choices that prepared him for his future Goliath encounter.

Saul replied, "You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth." But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.

Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God.  The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."  Samuel 17:33-37

Every day you and I face stuff that helps build courage and character to overcome greater challenges. When you ask God each day for help with the smaller issues of life you get a little bolder each day. The way you face the everyday choices in your life prepares you to overcome your Goliath.

Join is next time as we see how resisting conformity and our actual crisis moment help us to overcome our Goliath.

Responding to Criticism

All of us experience bumps and bruises along life’s journey. Injustice. Unfairness. Unkindness. Criticism. Meanness. When you’ve been wounded by those who you have loved, respected, and trusted you understand that kind of pain is not something you can easily or quickly overcome.

In fact, you and I can carry those wounds with us until they begin to revolve in a cycle of pain, and we can in turn become wounders ourselves. We can deeply wound others without thinking and often it’s those who are closest to us.

In a BBC interview, Princess Dianna acknowledged she was so wounded that she cut herself with a serrated lemon sheer, a pen knife, and razor blades. Explaining what drove her to harm herself she said, “You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help.”

When we lash out at others with anger, blame and resentment we can subtly and unintentionally become enslaved to these negative traits. They become how people see us. It’s a vicious cycle.

Many have tried to release their pain through self-medication (fill in the blank)? It doesn’t work, does it? At best it only temporarily releases pain. It may feel good for a few moments, hours, or days, but it actually perpetuates your cycle of pain.

Hannah was deeply humiliated by the incessant ridicule and criticism of her husband’s first wife for her inability to bear children for her husband.
“Her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her."

Finally, after years of this non-stop provocation Hannah came to the point that she was so depressed she could only “weep and not eat.” Her pain was obvious and understandable.

Like many good husbands her husband made it worse by saying, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Did Hannah lose it and verbally lash out and retaliate? No.  None of this. The way she responded was so different than most of us would have.

The way she dealt with critisism was to pray.
She chose a beautiful alternative response that is available to us. Her deep disappointment and grief drove her to seek her compassionate God who she knew intimately understood and saw the sadness of her desperation and heard her prayer. Hannah prayed.

What long-term difference might it make if you chose to respond as Hannah did? It’s sad that even those we would consider exemplary people of faith wound others. Many of us know what that’s like.

As Anne Graham Lotz said, “Wounds can be contagious. One wound can divide and multiply as if it’s a living cell, until entire families are taking sides, not speaking to each other. Does that describe your family? What misery we can inflict on each other.

Families make up nations that have conflict in the Middle East; between Russia and her neighbors, between Iran and Iraq, between Japan and China, between the Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda, between the Sunni and Shia Muslims, between African Americans and Anglo-Americans.”

We are taught by our parents, leaders, siblings and even religious people to hate just because… Would the cycle of pain be broken in our lives if we would be the first to reach out and say we’re sorry or at least open up a door of conversation about the source of our wound.

We may never know the difference it can make until we do.

Join us next time as learn more from Hannah about coping with criticism.