Give Gifts That People Really Need

 

Too many of us have unrealistic expectations of what Christmas should be or what it was once and maybe even a sentimental view of the manger. Let’s look at the Christmas story from a different perspective.

I heard once, “If Jesus was at my family’s Christmas he wouldn’t be so optimistic about loving people.” During this season we encounter all kinds of different people. In the Christmas story, there were…

Disappointed people
Zechariah and Elizabeth faithfully served God the best they knew how. Elizabeth was old and barren in an age when being without children was considered a curse or perhaps worse yet, it was because of something you did to displease God.

Perhaps a strained relationship as well. When the priest Zechariah was told by the angel that his wife would have a child Zechariah’s natural response was, “How can I be sure of this, my wife and I are too old and worn out.” As a result of Zechariah’s unbelief, he did not speak until his son John was born.

Stressed out people
All is calm, all is bright. Really? Mary was probably around thirteen when she was pregnant and told Joseph that the father was the Holy Spirit. Joseph: Would you repeat that, please… Needless to say, he didn’t believe her. Are you really going to stay with that story, Mary? Joseph wanted to spare Mary public disgrace and humiliation and planned to quietly divorce her. There was a scandal in Galilee.

Then Joseph was visited by an angel and changed his mind about divorcing Mary and told her that we should just go ahead and get married anyway. They came from a very strict religious place, not unlike where some of us lived. 

They were a poor couple who were financially strapped during tax season and now they're on a difficult long journey with no place to stay. Joseph didn’t even think to call ahead and book the cheapest B&B or Motel 6.

Unsavory people
How many people have ‘The Great’ tacked on after their name like Herod? Paranoid about losing his power to a prophesied Jewish King, Herod ordered the murder of all the boys in Bethlehem who were two years and under. 

Warned by an angel Joseph and Mary took Jesus and fled to Egypt to live in a foreign place with a radically different culture and language and where the locals didn’t really want them around. If they took the Stress Test today they would be off the charts.

Strange and despised people
The Magi were Persians who looked very different than those living in Palestine. They believed in astrology which was strictly forbidden for the Jews. Then there were the dishonest and despised shepherds. If you were a good Jew you didn’t want your daughter hanging out with these guys.

Jesus lived in a world with plenty of people like the ones mentioned, but he gave them love anyway. This Christmas you can give better gifts that people really need.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

The first gift you can give to the difficult people in your life is…
The gift of grace
Jesus asked the woman caught in adultery, “Where are your accusers? There are none Lord, “Neither do I condemn you...” For the son of man came not to condemn the world, but to save it.” John 3:17

There is no one in your life who doesn’t need grace. Everybody needs grace. You might think someone doesn’t deserve grace and you know what, they don’t, but God gives it anyway. Only God knows what they deserve. A lot of times we don’t know their backgrounds and wounds. 

We all have certain leanings, some of us have a high capacity for gratitude, and others of us are constantly whining, but Jesus is full of grace to all of us. Are you? The second gift is...

The gift of truth
Jesus was full of grace, but not just grace. He was also full of truth. Grace without truth isn’t enough to grow in. Jesus was full of grace but also full of truth. It’s really hard to speak the truth sometimes. We might think we’re really good at telling someone the truth.

We can simply share the truth and a person will change. Wow, I really needed that I’m going to change right now. Yet, when we're face to face with someone we struggle with the right words to say.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 The third gift is…

The gift of time
Time is a precious commodity. Some think one conversation will be enough to persuade a person to change. We’re impatient, we want to microwave people. I had one conversation with ______and he didn’t change, what’s the deal?

Jesus tells this great story. There’s this guy who sees a fig tree that looked dead and said, “Let’s cut it down?” The gardener says, “No not yet, give it another year, fertilize and prune it, I’m still working on this tree.” Of course, the gardener (Jesus) is still at work in those whom we might write off.

There have been people in your life for which you’ve tried to help several times and you finally came to a point of actually giving up on them. But you’re not in charge of them. God is working on that tree. He’s working on your tree. 

All you can bring to the table is you. The only heart you can bring to the table is yours. The question is will you bring grace, truth, and time to them? It’s a lot easier to think about it than do it.

Maybe you’re not a grace, truth, and time person, but you can be a conduit for it if you start with this Christmas letting God love you.

Israel was living in a very stressful time in their history and they weren’t sure if they were loved. I can’t really love if I don’t I know I have more than enough love coming my way. God says to them, ‘Even if a mom would forget her child I could never forget you. I love you too much…Your name is engraved in the palm of my hand.’ Isaiah 49:14-15

That was what Jesus did in his life, He showed love to the disappointed people, stressed-out people, unsafe people, embarrassed people, all the difficult people in his life and he gave them grace, truth, and time. Then he went to a cross and stretched out his hands and allowed the cruel spikes to pierce his hands and your name got engraved in his palm.

You see, there are a lot of people who don’t know they’re loved. This could be a Christmas unlike any other. Maybe your pain is so deep; your emotions are so raw you have no idea where to start to love others the way Jesus did. God knows this.

You don’t have to figure out what to do or say. All you have to do is bring your heart to God right now and ask Him to help you let go of your bitterness, resentment, fear, the anxiety that’s been keeping you in your own prison. Help us God to acknowledge that our peace does not come from within ourselves, but from you, for you are our peace.

Merry Christmas

What Is Thanksgiving and it's Meaning?

 

Is Thanksgiving more than a day off, a parade, football, and a meal that takes hours to prepare and a few minutes to eat? Can it be more than that?

In the fall of 1621, just over 50 colonists attended the meal that became Thanksgiving including 22 men, four married women, and more than 25 children and teenagers. These were the fortunate ones who had made it through the rough voyage across the Atlantic into the New World. They made it through the extremely harsh winter during which disease took the lives of nearly half the original group. 

The majority of the women who had arrived on the Mayflower had died during the first winter. For the English, the first Thanksgiving was celebrating that they had survived their first year in New England. The Plymouth colonists were likely outnumbered more than two-to-one at the event by their Native American guests. 

While the 1621 event may not have been called Thanksgiving, thanksgiving was certainly present in that historic celebration, just as it would play a defining role in how the tradition developed over the centuries.  

Like the original colonist, few have understood the power of giving thanks as thoroughly as Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, and novelist. Here’s what Wiesel said on the Oprah Winfrey show:

OPRAH: “There may be no better person than you to speak about living with gratitude. Despite all the tragedy you've witnessed, do you still have a place inside you for gratefulness?”

ELIE: “Absolutely. Right after the war, I went around telling people, "Thank you just for living, for being human." And to this day, the words that come most frequently from my lips are, "Thank you." When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.”

We hear a lot about being thankful, but living a life of gratitude isn’t easy. It requires time, effort, and faithful practice.

“Without effort, feelings of gratitude are often fleeting, passing as quickly as they come. For example, I’m grateful to have a clean bill of health but gripe as soon as a cold interferes with my busy life. I have a kitchen filled with food but complain about cooking and a closet filled with clothes but, “nothing to wear.”      Tiffany Musik Matthews 

Gratitude takes a conscious effort. In order to be grateful, we must first take the time to recognize that something has been done for our benefit. The culture’s prevalent attitude, ‘of what have you done for me lately,’ reflects expectation, not gratitude.

Gratitude is reflected in acts of kindness and generosity and is an indicator that something good has taken place. Is there a difference between experiencing a warm, fuzzy feeling from time to time and living a life of gratitude? Dr. Robert Emmons, Professor of psychology at UC Davis says,

“Feeling grateful is not the same as being a grateful person, a grateful a person is one who regularly affirms the goodness in his or her life and recognizes that the sources of this goodness lie at least partially outside of themselves.” Notice that Emmons says outside ourselves, not from us or because of us.

Those with a grateful heart feel more intensely grateful, on a regular basis, for multiple things, toward multiple people. While being grateful for positive events or moments of good fortune seems simple, but having a disposition toward gratitude suggests something more. For a Christ-follower a grateful heart is being thankful for salvation and for God’s blessings, but it is also able to be grateful in difficult circumstances.

Being truly grateful extends beyond convenience. As receivers of salvation and divine grace, we should strive to be grateful in all seasons of our lives. Titus 3:4-5. The evidence is clear that cultivating gratitude in our lives makes us happier and healthier people, but practicing gratitude is easier said than done. 

We can all find reasons to be grateful, but unfortunately, it’s more difficult to be appreciative of others. Kelsy Richardson, who did her graduate research on gratitude at Fuller Seminary, named pride as a major deterrent to gratitude said, “You would think that the opposite of being grateful is being ungrateful, but it’s actually selfishness or self-conceit. When you believe you deserve the good things you receive, you don’t feel the need to be grateful to others.”

In today’s age of entitlement, many are mistaken to think that all social problems, economic insecurity, poverty, racism and even their own discomfort will end today or tomorrow. Many have come to expect that their lives should have less discomfort, but we are not God and cannot guarantee what we desire. Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment. “Sometimes with gratitude you just have to accept life as it is and be grateful for what you have,” says Emmons.

In daily life, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Brother David Steindl-Rast

 

Look Up With Patience and Prayer

In the last blog LookDown, Look Around or Look Up we saw that one of the choices we can make is to allow God’s love to be your life preserver. Secondly…

Let patience be your priority

We want our problems solved now or at least really soon. Here’s the problem and here is the quick solution, but God sees things differently. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts Isaiah 55:10

God uses our pain and disappointment to bring hope
We trust in things that aren’t going to last. God may test us to grow us, but not to grade us. Growth and hope are not guaranteed results of problems. It takes patience. Romans 5:3-5

And after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised… We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:15, 19

Yes, being patient with our problems is easy to talk about, but hard to do. No matter how big or small our problems are they will not usually be solved overnight. We live with them every day and some of them can wear us down whether we think they should or not.

God helps us to face our problems with patience by not facing them alone
Let wise trustworthy friends help you. By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2   Call, text or email those you care about or to those that care about you. Thirdly…

Let your prayer be your pressure release

We all need to talk to others, but we also need to talk to God.  O LORD, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from an honest heart. Psalm 17:11

The psalmist is not phony and pietistic but honest with himself and God. Be honest and you’ll get an honest answer, but you might not get what you’re asking for. Thank God He doesn’t give us what we deserve, but what we really need and that is abundant grace.

God is never too busy to hear your complaint and is always available
Hurry with your answer, God I’m nearly at the end of my rope. Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me! Psalm 143:7

Every day you and I can make time wherever we are to talk to God.

Zachariah's Song

Songs can leave an impact upon us. Songs can change things. Most of us sing when things are going great, but what if they’re not, can we still sing? In the last blog we saw that Mary could sing after receiving very overwhelming news.

When you love someone you might want to sing to them. Sometimes parents sing silly songs to their young children. I used to sing Sinatra’s ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ to my young daughter Sara as we danced and I held her in my arms. Over the years it became ‘our’ song.

Were all marked by songs aren’t we? Certain songs stand out when were celebrating or grieving. Some songs bring back memories or can bring us to tears. Zechariah sang a song from the depths of his heart that had to with his son John the Baptist and hope of Israel. 

Imagine the old Jewish priest Zechariah singing to his son John? Maybe John like my daughter would say, ”Sing it again dad, sing it again.” Maybe Jesus would tell his mom, “Sing it again mom, please.”

Maybe while John was growing up Zechariah told his son, “Your heavenly father might ask you some day to do something really hard?” We know that John’s mission “to prepare the way of the Lord” was not an easy one, especially when your diet includes eating honey and locusts.

Miraculously (both well beyond childbearing) Zech’s wife gave birth to their son John and they were both very excited to say the least! At his birth Zech broke out into his celebrative song, Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied:  “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because He has come and has redeemed his people.” Luke 1:67-68

Notice Zech’s three words about Israel’s long awaited Messiah, ‘He has come’ Jn.1:1-4,14

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel (God is with us) Isaiah 7:14.

After years of waiting, God’s divine visitation had ‘finally’ come to Israel just as God had promised! Israel had been wondering when their God would speak again? After four hundred years of silence since the prophet Malachi spoke God fulfilled His promise as he said He would!

How long have you been waiting for something or someone?  

Maybe you’re in a long cold winter of waiting and are feeling kind of hopeless and losing your sense of purpose? Then, you need hear Zack’s chorus, ’He has come!’ 

He has come and revealed His Son to show His extravagant love to you! He wants to assure you that He knows everything about you and cares about you. You are His work of art that is yet to be completed!

Perhaps we’ve become cold and numb and in desperate need of a touch from God? Maybe we’re feeling guilty about something we’ve gotten into? Maybe we're worried about our future? Once again we need to hear Zack’s words, ’He has come to redeem His people’ to give us hope for today and our future.

In the midst of our winter of discontent sometimes we can’t see clearly. We might not even be able to see our own reality. We might be blinded by our own grief and tears. If so, hear the encouraging words of Isaiah.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.  Isaiah 42:16

When things seem hopeless and uncertain be encouraged that, ’He has come’ for you too! He has come to bring light into your darkness.  Jesus came to live and die for you so that you could truly know Him and be His now and forever!  Now, that is something to sing about don’t you think?

Everyone sings something. So, what will your song be? May you be reminded this winter that Zechariah’s chorus ‘HE HAS COME’ can be “your song” too!

Cultivating Gratitude

Imagine you fall off the side of an ocean liner and, not knowing how to swim, begin to drown. Someone on the deck spots you, flailing in the water and throws you a life preserver. It lands directly in front of you and, just before losing consciousness, you grab hold for dear life.

They pull you up onto the deck, and you cough the water out of your lungs. People gather around, rejoicing that you are safe and waiting expectantly while you regain your senses. After you finally catch your breath, you open your mouth and say: "Did you see the way I grabbed onto that life preserver? How tightly I held on to it? I was all over that thing!"

Needless to say, it would be a bewildering and borderline insane response. To draw attention to the way you cooperated with the rescue effort denigrates the whole point of what happened, which is that you were saved.

A much more likely chain of events is that you would immediately seek out the person who threw the life preserver, and you would thank them. Not just superficially, either. You would embrace them, ask them their name, invite them to dinner and maybe give them your cabin!
‘Law & Gospel’ (Mockingbird Ministries, 2015), page 73

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. Titus 3:4-5.

Kelsy Richardson, who is currently conducting graduate research on ‘gratitude’ at Fuller Seminary, named pride as a major deterrent to gratitude said, “When you believe you deserve the good things you receive, you don’t feel the need to be grateful to others.”

“Without effort, feelings of gratitude are often fleeting, passing as quickly as they come. For example, I’m grateful to have a clean bill of health but gripe as soon as a cold interferes with my busy life. I have a kitchen filled with food but complain about cooking and a closet filled with clothes but, “nothing to wear.” Tiffany Musik Matthews

Research suggests that gratitude can’t simply be grouped with other emotions, like happiness or anger, because unlike other emotions, gratitude takes a conscious effort. In order to be grateful, we must first take the time to recognize that something has been done for our benefit. The culture’s prevalent attitude, ‘of what have you done for me lately,’ reflects expectation not gratitude.

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis says, “Feeling grateful is not the same as being a grateful person, a grateful person is one who regularly affirms the goodness in his or her life and recognizes that the sources of this goodness lie at least partially outside of themselves.” Notice Emmons says that gratefulness does not come from us or because of us.

In today’s age of entitlement many have come to expect that their lives should have less discomfort, but we are not God and cannot guarantee what we desire. Being truly grateful extends beyond our own convenience. Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment. With gratitude you accept life as it is and are grateful for what you have.

The evidence is clear that cultivating gratitude in our lives makes us happier and healthier people. As receivers of salvation and divine grace, we should strive to be grateful in all seasons of our lives.


In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.  Brother David Steindl-Rast

Don't Miss the Moment

German theologian Martin Buber said, “There is something that can only be found in one place. It is a great treasure, which may be called the fulfillment of existence. The place where this treasure can be found is the place on which one stands.”

Yes, the treasure of being present and alive today.
And yet, why do so many of us feel there is some kind of deficiency in us? Like, we’re not where we should be, or even wish to be or we’re not achieving or doing enough.  We’re not successful enough. We’re not smart enough. We’ve haven’t done or gone to ________yet.

Blaise Pascal wrote, "By means of a diversion we can avoid our own company 24 hours a day." But it's not just diversion. It's a kind of relentless pursuit of something elusive as if life is always just around the corner from where we are NOW. Many don't know what they want in life, but they’re sure they haven't got it, at least not yet. Maybe it's a new location, a new job, a new relationship?

Jackson Browne talked about this "empty pursuit" in a song "The first time I went on my own, when the roads were as many as the places I had dreamed of and my friends and I we’re one."  Yet in a later song called "Running on Empty," he says, "I look around for the friends that I used to turn to, to pull me through; looking into their eyes, I see them running, too."

If we can just find ‘IT’ or that relationship then we’ll be happy. It is as if we live with an expectation that life should be a certain way or we should… I'm all for living in the present moment, just not this one.  And yet, as Buber said "The great treasure of a fulfilled life is in the ground where we stand."

Martin Buber asked,“Where is the dwelling of God?" Then he answered his own question,“God dwells wherever man lets Him in.” This is the ultimate purpose: to let God in. We can let Him in not only as our God, maker, savior and friend, but in where we stand today in the moment.

Have we lost the ability to savor the ordinary moments? A few days ago due to a temporary handicap (crutches) I was riding an electric shopping cart in the grocery store with my son who suffers every day with chronic pain from Crohn's Disease. That seemingly insignificant experience brought a joyful and grateful heart for the simpler things in life that we take for granted every day, like good health.

You can be in the present moment when you let God in. For millions the hope for better health and healing can mean a whole lot more than several trips to your favorite vacation place.

We can easily miss divine opportunities that come our way.
They can be in the most unexpected places and times. Those great ‘treasure moments’ can be in the simplest encounters. In a conversation with the grocery store checker or the person you’re sitting next to in the doctor’s office or with a stranger at the DMV.

This world is a pretty messed up place and it can mess with our expectations we have of life. We all know that. We need to slow down and appreciate the people right in front of us.   

Today, more than ever we need sanctuaries of care, places where we can feel safe and loved. But, we also need to be that place of refuge for friends, families and strangers. That treasured place is YOU where God can dwell and be seen by others.

               

Showing Mercy

How can we show mercy when we want justice? Last week we looked at how compassion and humility can help bring peace and build bridges in a very divisive world. There is another significant heart posture that can help restore broken relationships and improve our current ones.

Showing Mercy

Mercy is giving more kindness than justice demands. Intentional or not we all hurt each other deeply, it’s just reality. Because of this we need massive doses of mercy to get back on track.  When were hurt there can be a tremendous amount of emotional energy stored up and we have a choice to use that emotional energy for retaliation or restoration? Which do you lean towards to?

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9

How do you do this when someone has insulted you or damaged your heart? We might feel, Lord, help me I don’t want to even talk to them. I want to get back at them, anything but to show mercy. Ask God for a calm spirit and refrain from harsh retaliatory words that you'll regret later.
Remember that God’s way is far different than ours’or the culture.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Things can get really dark given the right circumstance. Words can attack the very core of our being, our abilities, our accomplishments, even our worth as a person. There are times when a wound goes so deep that we say to ourselves, ‘I can’t forgive you.’ God says to us you’re never going to forgive that person more than I’ve already forgiven you. 

Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5

Some not only keep a record of wrongs, but they got a whole mental closet of every wrong someone did to them. They’ve cataloged and characterized those offenses and they’re ready to pull one out at the right moment to get their emotional payback.

That’s not God’s way! It may not be easy at all, but we need to lean into forgiveness and show mercy. Forgive as he has forgiven you. Forgiveness is not a one-time event, it’s an aerobic exercise.

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. I Thessalonians 5:15

How would you rate yourself on the mercy scale 1 to 10?  Do you stockpile hurts for ammo for later, and keep a scorecard then give yourself a one. If you’re quick to offer forgiveness and quick to let go of grudges give yourself an 8 or 9.

Joins us in the next blog for another heart attitude that can make all the difference in the world for you and those you care about.

Is Loneliness a Solvable Problem?

Millions think that loneliness is a solvable problem and the solution is usually a person.

The reasoning goes something like this, ‘When’ I’m in a relationship or ‘when’ I get married I won’t be lonely anymore.’ So, each week over 40 million American lonely hearts pursue someone online to take their loneliness away. This pursuit takes a lot of time and it can be empty and exhausting.

In the movie Jerry McGuire, Jerry’s girlfriend said, “Jerry, you can’t be alone, you don't know how to be alone, you’ve never been alone.” Many believe the same thing about themselves. Four out of ten Americans admit frequent feelings of intense loneliness.

Loneliness has been described as: assuming others have it together, but you; taking inventory of your life and feeling you’ve made many wrong choices; you’re hurting, but no one understands your pain or it’s an aching to have someone to share your life with.

The reality is that all of us experience loneliness regardless of our relationship status.

A different perspective about loneliness can possibly change your life
There are a lot of reasons why people feel lonely and I’m sure you could provide your own list of reasons or definition. It is extremely helpful to know there is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. 

Loneliness is an emotional state of feeling disconnected from others
The problem is that we have unspoken assumptions about loneliness. We attach meaning to loneliness from our families and societal assumptions. I am unlovable. I am undesirable. I am a social failure. I am a bad person. Nobody could ever want to be with me. I am not a whole person unless I have a partner or spouse. I just can’t be alone. I deserve a relationship. I have to have some romantic relationship in my life. I’ll settle for bad love than no love at all. What would you add to the list?

Whatever the cause loneliness has very little to do with being single. Some of the loneliest people are married. Loneliness is not solved by marriage. Saying ‘I do” does not solve loneliness or guarantee intimacy. A study of 3,400 married couples by the University of Michigan revealed that 65% are profoundly unhappy and 70% said they wouldn’t marry the same person. While that survey may reflect today’s ‘selfie’ culture, it is what it is.

Aloneness is the physical state of being separated from others

All of us regardless of our relational status experience a sense of aloneness and yearn for relationships. Yet, loneliness is not dependent upon the lack of people in our lives. We can still feel lonely in a crowd as Albert Einstein said, “It’s strange that you can be known all around the world, but be so lonely.”

Extroverts can laugh and be around people constantly and still be a member of the lonely hearts club. For introverts aloneness can be less intimidating, but they have a greater risk of isolation and subjective introspection. Alone could simply mean, “I’m alone right now, no big deal, I have friends, family and co-workers.”

What do you do when you’re alone and feel sorry for yourself?After a tremendous victory over the false prophets of Baal the prophet Elijah was stretched to the max by the confrontation on Mount Carmel. His nerves were fried and he was hungry, thirsty and weary. Deeply distraught he prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,take my life.” Maybe you've said that before?

Elijah left his servant behind and journeyed into the wilderness all alone which made his situation even worse. Now alone, he had a pity party telling God he was the only faithful Jew in Israel. No wonder Jesus sent out the disciples in twos.

In times of fear and aloneness we need somebody to talk to and pray with to help give us clear perspective on our situation.  Like Elijah we can make poor decisions when we’re alone. In times like this we are especially vulnerable to the culture’s exploitation of relationships.

God is patient and worked with Elijah and brought him back to reality. God provided for him right where he was at and spoke to him in a still small voice. Thank God He is long suffering towards his children and speaks to us when we are feeling hurt and alone. He can do the same for you!

Grasping Gratitude

Gratitude does not come from having things go our way or from having more. Gratitude is a byproduct of a way of seeing things. Psalm 103:2-5 says,

"Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things."

Notice the psalmist says to not forget all of God’s benefits.
Do you? Do I? I think we do. Why is it so difficult to be grateful? In order to be grateful, we need to recognize that something has been done for our benefit. To be grateful we must believe not just that benefits are coming our way, but that they don't come at random or by accident.

They come from somewhere outside ourselves. They come from somebody, a benefactor, and there has to be a beneficiary: one who receives the good. That's you and I.

You are the beneficiary of the benefits from God…
who has your best interests at heart. The beneficiary has a crucial part, for there to be gratitude, beneficiaries must believe they are receiving something they did not earn, merit, or deserve. Being truly grateful extends beyond our own convenience. Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment.

Have you ever known someone who is perpetual complaining? I remember when I said to a someone, "Hasn't this summer been great?" "Oh no, it's horrible - I hate the heat! I'm always sweating and the cost to run my air conditioner is killing me!" Then I commented to the same person, “Hasn’t this cooler weather been nice?” "Oh no, it's horrible - it's so cold. I just want to be outside and enjoy warmer weather."

Can you believe that? Have you ever noticed how ingratitude will turn even a blessing into a burden? How it makes opportunities feel like obligations? But thanksgiving is the key to freedom. 

It reminds us of our God who has already gone ahead of us to clear the way and make open the path to freedom and life. Becoming more thankful means learning to reinterpret the situations in our lives with the fundamental confession that we don't deserve anything.

Gratitude grows with humility.

Gratitude always involves a posture of humility. When you believe you deserve the good things you receive, you don’t feel the need to be grateful to others. If I believe I am owed something, I will not be thankful for it because I think I'm entitled to it. As Steven Furtick said, "When entitlement is high, gratitude is low. When gratitude is high, entitlement is low. Gratitude begins where our sense of entitlement ends."

So often we think we'll be more grateful when I get that job, buy my dream home, when I finish school, when my troubles disappear. Why do people who keep getting more and more, show less and less gratitude? My sinful mind can convince me I'm entitled to ______, I deserve it and if I don't get it other people must be rude to me.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile." They perceived themselves to be entitled, to be owed. They didn't see themselves as grateful receivers of grace every moment and grace is never earned or deserved.

Gratitude comes with imperfection
If we look, wait and hope for perfect people and perfect circumstances we’ll never be grateful. We'll miss out on God's desire for our lives. We're glad for our friends, for our homes, our cars, for success when it comes our way, for our jobs if we have them, but their absence does not prevent us from being grateful, especially for God's greatest gift.

So above all, Jesus followers, having much or very little thank God for his gift of Jesus: his matchless life, his unrivaled teachings, his sacrificial death, his triumphant resurrection. "Thank you Lord, Blessed are you, O Lord."

Is That All There Is To Thanksgiving?

Is Thanksgiving more than a day off, a parade, football and a meal that takes hours to prepare and few minutes to eat? Can it be more than that?

In the fall of 1621 just over 50 colonists attended the meal that became Thanksgiving including 22 men, four married women and more than 25 children and teenagers. These were the fortunate ones who had made it through the rough voyage across the Atlantic into the New World. They made it through the extreme harsh winter during which disease took the lives of nearly half the original group.

The majority of the women who had arrived on the Mayflower had died during the first winter. For the English the first Thanksgiving was celebrating that they had survived their first year in New England. The Plymouth colonists were likely outnumbered more than two-to-one at the event by their Native American guests.

While the 1621 event may not have been called Thanksgiving, thanksgiving was certainly present in that historic celebration, just as it would play a defining role in how the tradition developed over the centuries.  

Like the original colonist few have understood the power of giving thanks as thoroughly as Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and novelist. Here’s what Wiesel said on the Oprah Winfrey show:

OPRAH: “There may be no better person than you to speak about living with gratitude. Despite all the tragedy you've witnessed, do you still have a place inside you for gratefulness?”

ELIE: “Absolutely. Right after the war, I went around telling people, "Thank you just for living, for being human." And to this day, the words that come most frequently from my lips are, "Thank you." When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.”

We hear a lot about being thankful, but living a life of gratitude isn’t easy. It requires time, effort and faithful practice.

“Without effort, feelings of gratitude are often fleeting, passing as quickly as they come. For example, I’m grateful to have a clean bill of health but gripe as soon as a cold interferes with my busy life. I have a kitchen filled with food but complain about cooking and closet filled with clothes but, “nothing to wear.”                                                                                                                                 Tiffany Musik Matthews 

Gratitude takes a conscious effort. In order to be grateful, we must first take the time to recognize that something has been done for our benefit. The culture’s prevalent attitude, ‘of what have you done for me lately,’ reflects expectation not gratitude.

Gratitude is reflected in acts of kindness and generosity and is an indicator that something good has taken place. Is there a difference between experiencing a warm, fuzzy feeling from time to time and living a life of gratitude? Dr. Robert Emmons, Professor of psychology at UC Davis says,

“Feeling grateful is not the same as being a grateful person, a grateful person is one who regularly affirms the goodness in his or her life and recognizes that the sources of this goodness lie at least partially outside of themselves.” Notice that Emmons says outside ourselves, not from us or because of us.

Those with a grateful heart feel more intensely grateful, on a regular basis, for multiple things, toward multiple people. While being grateful for positive events or moments of good fortune seems simple, but having a disposition toward gratitude suggests something more. For a Christ follower a grateful heart is being thankful for salvation and for God’s blessings, but it is also able to be grateful in difficult circumstances.

Being truly grateful extends beyond convenience. As receivers of salvation and divine grace, we should strive to be grateful in all seasons of our lives. Titus 3:4-5. The evidence is clear that cultivating gratitude in our lives makes us happier and healthier people, but practicing gratitude is easier said than done. 

We can all find reasons to be grateful, but unfortunately it’s more difficult to be appreciative of others. Kelsy Richardson, who is currently conducting graduate research on gratitude at Fuller Seminary, named pride as a major deterrent to gratitude said, “You would think that the opposite of being grateful is being ungrateful, but it’s actually selfishness or self-conceit. When you believe you deserve the good things you receive, you don’t feel the need to be grateful to others.”

In today’s age of entitlement many are mistaken to think that all social problems, economic insecurity, poverty, racism and even their own discomfort will end today or tomorrow. Many have come to expect that their lives should have less discomfort, but we are not God and cannot guarantee what we desire. Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment. “Sometimes with gratitude you just have to accept life as it is and be grateful for what you have,” says Emmons.

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Brother David Steindl-Rast

Are You In Need of Gratitude?

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” Charles Dickens 

Gratitude helps us to appreciate things that we might otherwise take for granted and can increase our contentment.  Research has shown that gratitude provides many positive health benefits like lower levels of stress, better sleep and grateful people are more enjoyable to be around. 

Research also suggests that gratitude leads to an increased sense of self-worth. The apostle Paul wrote, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” Titus 3:4-5 

As recipients of God’s kindness, we know that we are of high value to God and as a result we are likely to feel more loved and cared for and more likely to reciprocate our own acts of generosity. God granted us mercy despite our undeserving nature and because of this and His great sacrifice for us we can come to the realization we are of incredible worth in His eyes. 

As a result we want to give thanks to God, “Give thanks to the lord, for He is good! His mercy endures forever,”Psalm 136:1 and to others, “We give thanks to God always for you.” I Thessalonians 1:2

Gratitude makes you a better person, not just in the sense of doing nice things for other people, but it comes with joy. When I’m grateful life feels more like a gift and I feel more engaged with the little things around me.

Thankfulness provides a needed balance to our irritation, anger, and frustration and less negative physical symptoms. Did you know there is lower occurrence of depression among grateful people?

People are not inherently grateful.  We were not born grateful, although some have had better role models than others growing up. Gratitude is learned and it takes time to develop. Practice gratitude.

Some of us need to consider having a gratitude journal recording the simple things that might otherwise be overlooked, like enjoying the warm rays of the sun or a cup of coffee with a good friend. You know, the things that can help develop a positive lens on life. Count your blessings rather than your burdens.

The more we express gratitude the more natural it becomes. You can change someone's life with a sincere thank you! Don't put it off, do it today. 
 
“Affirming and embracing the good in life seems to be the simple and natural outcome of living gratefully, especially when we stop to consider what God has done us.” Tiffany Musik Matthews

Through the cross we find the ultimate demonstration of unconditional love—and a very humbling reason to give thanks to the Creator. When we fully grasp our tremendous worth to God we can better appreciate His sovereignty and care for us in the midst of the storms of life. We become deeply grateful to God for His indescribable love.

Thinking about gratitude is great, but even better if it causes you to act because of it. Now, go out and show it to others for His sake.

Receiving Unwanted Gift

Today even before we open a gift often the giver will say, “Don’t worry I have gift receipt. If you don’t like you can return it.” For many Christmas can have a way of intensifying our highs and our lows. We can celebrate our highs yet our lows can seem lower.

Part of the Christmas story is one of an unwanted gift. |
There is not much mentioned about Joseph. There are no recorded words of Joseph, but he was not a passive bystander. He was faced with one of the most unwanted gifts anyone could ever imagine. His response changed his life and has the power to change yours’.

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was ‘pledged’ to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.  Matthew 1:18-25

Joseph was ‘pledged’ to Mary, in other words they didn’t meet on Match.com or dated to see if their relationship would develop into something more serious. Their marriage was arranged by their families. It’s possible they didn’t know each other all that well. Their betrothal period lasted six months before the consummation of their marriage.

We read that Joseph was a ‘righteous’ man. He was consecrated in his Hebrew faith. He faithfully attended the synagogue, he knew, memorized and kept the Torah and observed the Jewish feasts. Being called a righteous man meant he was well respected in his community.

Joseph could have heard rumors about Mary’s pregnancy before Mary told him the father was the Holy Spirit. It would be understandable that Joseph was deeply disappointed in Mary and hearing the news from the village gossip. His parent’s dreams for him and his own were absolutely shattered at the news of Mary’s pregnancy. Joseph was heartbroken and dismayed.

The consequences for an adulterer would be a public stoning. After hearing the news no wonder Joseph was considering divorcing Mary, but to save her from public humiliation and disgrace he kept his vow to marry her. He was a good man. There was no requirement for Joseph to bring Mary on the long difficult journey to Bethlehem. Could it be that he took her to protect her?

Before the angel confirmed Mary’s explanation Joseph was afraid of what would happen next. Why was he afraid? His mind was racing knowing his decision would be extremely costly in taking on a wife that was thought to be an adulterer. He knew that his son was not his and would be constantly called nasty names growing up.

Perhaps Mary’s family and friends would shun her and or worse yet disown her? Maybe their families would not attend their eventual wedding day? Would his good reputation be mired forever in scandal?  There was a lot on the line for Joseph. He was in a place of, ‘I don’t understand God, I’m afraid, what are you doing here? I really need to hear from you.’ Have you ever been there? Most of us have.

There are three observations that we can apply from this Christmas story:
Don’t be afraid, verse 23 “and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”)
God did address Joseph’s fears through the angel that God was with Him in his overwhelming situation even though it would continue to be very hard for him. God promises that He is with us in whatever situation we’re facing no matter how long and despite how difficult.

Take a riskJoseph took an unbelievable risk in taking Mary as his wife. To choose to love Mary knowing that the future would be hard for both of them, but somehow God would make a way. Joseph’s love, faith and perseverance deeply mattered to God. So does yours’ and mine.

Commit yourself to GodDo you think Joseph regretted his decision in taking Mary as his wife? He didn’t have a gift receipt to return the gift he didn’t want or ask for. Despite all the tribulations Joseph would endure because of his decision do you think he regretted seeing his son grow up and teaching him his carpentry trade?

Do you think he regretted the long walks and conversations with his son? Do you think he regretted seeing his son’s gracious wise counsel to those he met? It was hard to hear the slurs about his son, but do you think he regretted seeing his son redeem people’s lives? God rewarded Joseph’s commitment to Him.

What about you? Like Joseph will you trust God that He will be ‘with you’ in your difficult circumstances? Trust that whatever is on your plate God is more capable than you expect. 

Although you might not see it now if you take a risk to commit to love someone God will reward you in ways you never imagined. Perhaps like Joseph you’ll see your commitment bear fruit that will change people’s lives forever.