Your Presence Matters To Others

Don Ritchie moved in across the road from the cliffs that overlook Australia’s beautiful Sydney Harbor where he lived until his death back in 2012. The sheer cliffs of what has been called the ‘Gap’ offered the most picturesque views of the Tasman Sea but also attracted desperate men and women pondering suicide.

Living just 200 feet from the edge of the sheer cliffs Mr. Ritchie would regularly approach individuals who were lingering a little too long overlooking the cliffs and would ask them, “Can I help you in some way?” He had a keen sense to spot would-be suicides and became known as the Angel of the gap. Officials credited Don with preventing 160 deaths, but according to his family, the number is actually 400 - 500. He would invite the hurting individuals contemplating suicide to his home for tea.

“I used to sell kitchen scales and then I was a manager of a life insurance company. At the Gap, I’m trying to sell people life.”

Always remember the power of the simple smile, a helping hand, a listening ear, and a kind word."
                                                                                                                                 - Don Ritchie
 

 Don’s presence saved people’s lives
You are never more like Jesus than when you with great concern (not condemnation, anger or frustration) intervene with someone in their time of affliction. Your faith is never more real than when you inconvenience your schedule to help someone who is in their time of pain.

“A godless world has no time for the outcast, marginalized, and inconveniences of other people. Jesus’ clear words from Matthew 25 turn our attention to the fact that the ‘ministry of presence is all about not missing the opportunities in the mundane moments of life.” Jeremiah Johnston

The ministry of presence is in the unscheduled moments of life
Busyness can be the greatest enemy of wise thinking and an enemy of mental health. Busyness and distractions definitely define our times. Think of how “On-Demand” is offered from education to entertainment and how we are encouraged to binge on this or that.

Jesus’ own words reflect the tension of being in his presence in the midst of distracting busy living.

“For I was hungry a and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me… and when did we see that you sick or in prison and visit you?…“Truly I say to you, as you do that to one of the least of these you did it to me.” Matthew 25:31-46

Jesus’ parable shows the reality that the most basic needs of people are met by others: food, drink, shelter, clothing, medical help, and care during imprisonment. Jesus shows us that in meeting the simplest needs, even the basic needs of life, He can meet every need in life; however, Jesus uses people.  He doesn’t use FedEx or a drone from heaven to your doorstep. God works through people like you and me. 

In our extremely busy world, we schedule everything around our calendars. It’s important to plan and be good stewards of our time, however, life-changing encounters occur in the unscheduled moments of life. 

God enjoys surprising us with his presence!
May we be more aware of how our presence in other people’s lives can be the very thing someone desperately needs and like Don Ritchie, your presence can bring life to others!

The next blog will continue with how your presence really does matters to someone.

 

Looking Up With Patience and Prayer

In the blog It’s Not Too Late to Look Up we looked at one of the choices we can make to look up with hope despite how dire our circumstances may be. Let God’s love to be your life preserver.
Let Patience be your Priority.

Let Patience be your Priority
We want our problems solved now or at least really soon. Here’s the problem and here is the quick solution, but God sees thing differently. Our problems are what God uses to bring hope. We trust in things that aren’t going to last. God may test us to grow us, but not to grade us. Growth and hope aren’t guaranteed results from problems. It takes patience. Romans 5:3-5

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised… We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:15, 19

Yes, being patient with our problems is easy to talk about, but hard to do. No matter how big or small our problems are they will not usually be solved overnight. We live with them every day and some of them can wear us down whether we think they should or not.

One of the ways God helps us to face our problems with patience is not facing them alone. Let wise trustworthy friends help you.  By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.
                                                                                                   Galatians 6:2
Let prayer be your pressure release
It’s helpful to talk to others, but we need to talk to God. O LORD, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from an honest heart. Psalm 17:11

The psalmist is not phony and pietistic, but honest with himself and God. Be honest and you’ll get an honest answer, but you might not get what you’re asking for. Thank God He doesn’t give us what we deserve, but what we really need, grace.

God is never too busy to hear your prayer. He is always listening to you.
Hurry with your answer, God I’m nearly at the end of my rope. Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me! Psalm 143:7 Everyday carve out some time at home or in your car and talk to God.

It's Not Too Late To Look up

When our circumstances do not turn out the way we hoped and dreamed we have three choices.
We can look down with discouragement and despair OR look around and find blame OR look up to God in hope. Maybe you feel that time is running out and it’s too late to... Maybe you can relate to the psalmist when he said,

I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell. I’m written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case. Psalm 88:3-4 (TM)

Not exactly the verse to have on your frig. Yet, no matter what’s happening in your life, no matter how grim, it’s not too late to look up and experience hope. Maybe you’re like a lot of others who wait for the circumstances to change when they’re hungry for hope? What if your situation doesn’t change then what? You might be in very hard place right now, but you don’t have to live without hope.

In Genesis 12 God told Abraham to leave the security of his homeland and go to the promised land and there God would make his name great. Note that God promised His blessing, but on that God directed trip Abraham encountered extreme hardships and relational conflict all throughout his long journey.

Abraham eventually got deeply discouraged. He had been waiting for God’s promised heir for over 25 years. Maybe like Abraham you’re wondering how much longer can I wait? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

The good news is that in the midst of Abraham’s mistakes and deep disappointment we read, “When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do.” Romans 4:18 TM

God wants us and the people we know to have hope.
Where or what do we direct people to? What do we tell people when they ask us where to find hope? Go online and find someone to put your hope in, have another drink, get a change of venue, just be positive… and on it goes.

So, how can we look up with hope despite our desperation? There are some choices we can make when were in this place. The first choice is to…

Allow God’s love to be your life preserver.
Hold unto Him when you don’t have anything else to hold unto. For so many it’s so easy to give up hope and distract ourselves with every imaginable thing that simply doesn’t help. It just prolongs our hopelessness and disappointment.

Don’t allow your job or a significant other to be your life preserver. Yes, your friends and family can help you with encouraging support, but to make them your life preserver is expecting from them what only God can do. Who do you look up to as your life preserver? Only God’s love is there at every moment.

I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made the heavens and the earth!  Psalm 121:1-2

It’s never too late to look up to God triumphantly in trust and surrender.

But I have hope when I think of this: The LORD’S love never ends; his mercies never stop. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3:21-23

Okay, how do you do that? Every day and every morning even when you feel helpless and hopeless remind yourself that God’s love is your ultimate life preserver. Tell yourself before you get out of bed, “no matter what He loves ME!”

In order to look up to God with real hope we have some other choices to make as well, but they’re harder.  Stay tuned for those other practical choices next time.  

Responding to Criticism

All of us experience bumps and bruises along life’s journey. Injustice. Unfairness. Unkindness. Criticism. Meanness. When you’ve been wounded by those who you have loved, respected, and trusted you understand that kind of pain is not something you can easily or quickly overcome.

In fact, you and I can carry those wounds with us until they begin to revolve in a cycle of pain, and we can in turn become wounders ourselves. We can deeply wound others without thinking and often it’s those who are closest to us.

In a BBC interview, Princess Dianna acknowledged she was so wounded that she cut herself with a serrated lemon sheer, a pen knife, and razor blades. Explaining what drove her to harm herself she said, “You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help.”

When we lash out at others with anger, blame and resentment we can subtly and unintentionally become enslaved to these negative traits. They become how people see us. It’s a vicious cycle.

Many have tried to release their pain through self-medication (fill in the blank)? It doesn’t work, does it? At best it only temporarily releases pain. It may feel good for a few moments, hours, or days, but it actually perpetuates your cycle of pain.

Hannah was deeply humiliated by the incessant ridicule and criticism of her husband’s first wife for her inability to bear children for her husband.
“Her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her."

Finally, after years of this non-stop provocation Hannah came to the point that she was so depressed she could only “weep and not eat.” Her pain was obvious and understandable.

Like many good husbands her husband made it worse by saying, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Did Hannah lose it and verbally lash out and retaliate? No.  None of this. The way she responded was so different than most of us would have.

The way she dealt with critisism was to pray.
She chose a beautiful alternative response that is available to us. Her deep disappointment and grief drove her to seek her compassionate God who she knew intimately understood and saw the sadness of her desperation and heard her prayer. Hannah prayed.

What long-term difference might it make if you chose to respond as Hannah did? It’s sad that even those we would consider exemplary people of faith wound others. Many of us know what that’s like.

As Anne Graham Lotz said, “Wounds can be contagious. One wound can divide and multiply as if it’s a living cell, until entire families are taking sides, not speaking to each other. Does that describe your family? What misery we can inflict on each other.

Families make up nations that have conflict in the Middle East; between Russia and her neighbors, between Iran and Iraq, between Japan and China, between the Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda, between the Sunni and Shia Muslims, between African Americans and Anglo-Americans.”

We are taught by our parents, leaders, siblings and even religious people to hate just because… Would the cycle of pain be broken in our lives if we would be the first to reach out and say we’re sorry or at least open up a door of conversation about the source of our wound.

We may never know the difference it can make until we do.

Join us next time as learn more from Hannah about coping with criticism.

H.E.L.P. A Real Life Rescue Story

A few weeks ago a capsized ship forced a group of mariners to swim to a nearby island, where they fought to survive while hoping desperately for a rescue effort from civilization. The three men not only found themselves stranded on such an island, but digging trenches on the beach to spell out the giant letters "H-E-L-P."

Unlike the majority of these true stories, however, it actually worked! A U.S. Navy plane saw the letters and notified nearby authorities to rescue them. The men were waving their orange life jackets when the Navy plane spotted them on the small island of Fanadik, several hundred miles north of Papua New Guinea. Two hours later they were rescued by a small local boat that picked them up and took them to a hospital.

Sometimes everyday life it can seem like our prayers to God are about as effective as spelling out giant letters in the sand, ‘HELP’ hoping somebody "up there" will see them. Like these three guys we want to be rescued right away or that our problems solved now or at least really soon. Here’s the problem and here is the quick solution, but God sees thing differently. Yet, scripture tells us that God knows what we need, even before we ask—especially when we need to be rescued. God’s lifesaver is thrown out to us in two ways.

Admit you need HELP from God
Honestly cry out to God for help in your time of need.
Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament O LORD, hear my plea, and listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from an honest heart…Hurry with your answer, God I’m nearly at the end of my rope. Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me.                                                                                                                 Psalm 5:1;17:7;143:7

The psalmist is not phony and pietistic, but honest with himself and God, he’s asking for God’s help and not trying to do it all by himself. God is never too busy to hear your story. He is always listening to you.

Let Others HELP You
When were in dire straits we need to reach out. If you’re a perfectionist or a recovering one, you might think if you want a job well done you got to do it yourself. Even though Jesus was perfect he didn’t try to do ministry by himself. He appointed the twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach. Mark 3:14

Do you think Jesus could preach better than the disciples? Of course, but he needed them. If Jesus needed help from others, what does that say about you and me? Stress tells you, “you got to do it yourself, you’ll handle it.” A lot of the times help is just a prayer and a few feet away. Unfortunately, our pride and insecurity keeps us for asking for help.

One of the ways God helps us to face our problems is not facing them alone. Let wise and trustworthy friends help you.  By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

It’s humbling to admit, “I need help,” but you’re like everybody else – you need help. We all experience times when we need HELP, there are no exemptions. Let God and His people help you.

Lonely,But Never Alone

Millions think that loneliness is a solvable problem and the solution is usually a person.
The reasoning goes something like this, ‘When’ I’m in a relationship or ‘when’ I get married I won’t be lonely anymore.’ So, 4o million lonely hearts each week pursue someone online to take their loneliness away. This pursuit takes a lot of time and it can be empty and exhausting.

In the movie Jerry McGuire, Jerry’s girlfriend said, “Jerry, you can’t be alone; you’ve never been alone.” Many believe the same thing about themselves. Four out of ten Americans admit frequent feelings of intense loneliness.

Loneliness has been described as: assuming others have it together, but you; taking inventory of your life and feeling you’ve made many wrong choices; you’re hurting, but no one understands your pain or it’s an aching to have someone to share your life with.

The reality is that all of us experience loneliness regardless of our relationship status.

A different perspective about loneliness can possibly change your life.
There are a lot of reasons why people feel lonely and I’m sure you could provide your own list of reasons or definition. It would be extremely helpful to know there is a difference between loneliness and aloneness.

Loneliness is an emotional state of feeling disconnected from others.
The problem is we have unspoken assumptions about loneliness. We attach our own meaning to loneliness and its’ consequences, don’t we?  Much of our perception of loneliness comes from our unfortunate dysfunctional upbringing and from societal assumptions from popular culture like…

I am unlovable. I am undesirable. I am a social failure. I am a bad person. Nobody could ever want to be with me. I am not a whole person unless I have a partner or spouse. I just can’t be alone. I deserve a relationship. I have to have some romantic relationship in my life. I’ll settle for bad love than no love at all. What would you add to the list?

Whatever the cause loneliness has very little to do with being single. Some of the loneliest people are married. Loneliness is not solved by marriage. Saying ‘I do” does not solve loneliness or guarantee intimacy. A study of 3,400 married couples by the University of Michigan revealed that 65% are profoundly unhappy and 70% said they wouldn’t marry the same person. While that survey may reflect today’s ‘selfie’ culture, it is what it is.

Aloneness is the physical state of being separated from others.

All of us regardless of our relational status experience a sense of aloneness and yearn for relationships. Yet, loneliness is not dependent upon the lack of people in our lives. We can still feel lonely in a crowd. Albert Einstein said, “It’s strange that you can be known all around the world, but be so lonely.”

Extroverts can laugh and be around people constantly and still be a member of the lonely hearts club. For introverts aloneness can be less intimidating, but they have a greater risk of isolation and subjective introspection. Alone could simply mean, “I’m alone right now, no big deal, I have friends, family and co-workers.”

What do you do when you’re alone and feel sorry for yourself?
After a tremendous victory over the false prophets of Baal (I Kings 18:16-39) the prophet Elijah was stretched to the max by the confrontation on Mt. Carmel; his nerves were fried and he was hungry, thirsty and weary. Deeply distraught he prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,take my life.”

Elijah left his servant behind and journeyed into the wilderness all alone which made his situation even worse. Now alone, he had a pity party telling God he was the only faithful Jew in Israel. At was at this point that he made his worst decision of his life in his weakest hour. No wonder Jesus sent out the disciples out in twos.

n times of fear and aloneness we need somebody to talk to and pray with to help give us clear perspective on our situation.  Like Elijah we can make poor decisions when we’re alone. In times like this we are especially vulnerable to the culture’s exploitation of relationships.

God is patient and worked with Elijah and brought him back to reality. God provided for him right where he was at and spoke to him in a still small voice. Thank God He is longsuffering towards his children and speaks to us when we are feeling hurt and alone. He can do the same for you!

Remembering the Waldo Canyon and Black Forest Fires

June 23 will be the 2nd anniversary of the Waldo Canyon Fire and last year’s Black Forest Fire just a year ago.  After having been told we were ‘going to be alright’ in Mountain Shadows within two days we we’re told to evacuate as fast as possible. The evacuation impacted 94,000 acres (147 sq. mi) , 13,000 homes and 38,000 people. Three shelters were established in the area, including Elbert County Fairgrounds, which accepted humans, pets, and large animals. Two other shelters were designated for large animals only.

About a year ago I blogged about what we can learn from the traumas in life that we don’t plan or ever expect. Here is that blog below:

As you drive along mountain roads you can see signs that say,‘Beware of falling rocks!’ Good advice, but how do we put that into practice? If we saw some falling rocks, should we immediately stop the car and perhaps cause an accident? Or should we speed up and try not to be a target? Or should we just “watch and pray” and trust God to keep the rocks from falling?

The rocks didn’t come, but the fires did and we couldn’t see them coming or stop them from coming. The Black Forest has burned over 14,000 acres and over 500 home have been lost. The fire has triggered a lot of sad memories for those of us impacted from last year’s Waldo Canyon fire.

Over 850 homes have been totally destroyed in the Colorado Springs area in the last year. 

The grieving and healing process takes time and people process their disappointment and sadness in different ways. 

This last year I’ve seen traumatic heart breaking losses with friends who lost everything they own and their loved ones. In the news there’s amazing life changing stories from the victims of the fire and how 1^st responders have saved lives and property. We hear stories from hopeful resilient people desiring to rebuild their lives, homes, neighborhoods and process together as communities.

For many their hope comes from their faith. How is it possible to experience abounding joy when we’re in the valley of despair? As the apostle Paul said we can experience hope from the Word of God. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4 

Here are a few encouraging examples.

In the midst of his deep disappointment over the destruction of his homeland Nehemiah experienced real abiding hope and joy. Although distraught with the utter mess of his beloved homeland, upon his return he said, “The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard from far away and the joy of the Lord is our strength” Neh.12:43; 8:10.

Though we may be hurting and numb hope is indeed possible during our anger, tears, disappointment and fears. Though Nehemiah’s book opens with ‘great trouble’ he closes with ‘great joy’ because their great God allowed them to rebuild the walls of his beloved Jerusalem. When the Hebrews returned to their home in Israel after seventy years of their humiliating Babylonian exile they were able to express their deep joy despite their circumstances.

“When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy…. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.”Psalm 126:1-3, 5-6

The rocks fell on Job. He suffered as few have suffered. In one day, all his great wealth was taken from him and his ten children died. Then he was afflicted with sores from head to foot, painful sores that disfigured him grossly and kept him awake at night. He left his home and sat outside the town on the ash heap where the trash was collected.

There he mourned and meditated, talked with some friends, and waited for the Lord to help him. When things couldn’t get much worse  and after Job lost everything He was still able to express his hope.

”I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! Job 19:25-27

During a time of Israel’s worsening condition Isaiah echoed this same hope to Israel with application for us by reminding them of God’s unending presence and love.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Though a parent may forget you, I will not forget you.  Isaiah 54:10; 49:15

It is possible to experience hope in the midst of severe disappointment and loss and with that hope a grateful heart. Gratitude goes against our need to feel in control of our environment.

Sometimes with gratitude we just need to accept life as it is and be grateful for what we have.

Living with a grateful heart is good, but it’s even better if it causes you to go out and help others because of it. May God help us to help others by sharing the hope we have in Christ.

Please share your comments and pictures.

Sharing Hope,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com

All is Lost

Recently, I saw the movie All Is Lost with Robert Redford who plays the only character in the movie with almost zero dialogue. Many say its’ his best part of his long acting career and worthy of an Oscar. His character is a skipper of his own yacht sailing all by himself in the middle of the desolate Indian Ocean. 

His boat hits a floating shipping container causing a huge gaping hole. We discover he is a very experienced sailor who promptly repairs the hole and prepares for whatever will come next.

The rest of the movie is an incredible story of survival against the elements. Although we hear him yell  out "help" to passing freighters and say, "this is the Virginia Queen with SOS over," we do not know his name, but for almost two hours we’re stranded right along with him in his boat.

At a critical moment when all certainly seems lost, the man, disheartened and desperate, utters one of the only two words he will say in the entire film. Head bowed, he moans, "God." Is it a prayer of despair? A cry for mercy? Or for a miracle?

We watch a man think. You can tell he is seeking solutions and considering his next move. But he's also contemplating his dire circumstance. You forget Redford is acting, and you just see a man fighting for his life. Maybe you can relate?

Don’t miss the first few poignant minutes. While he only says a few words in the entire movie in the very beginning of the movie on a still blank screen, before we see the man or his boat, we hear Redford in a very brief voice over, setting the scene. Here's a portion of that opening monologue:

"I'm sorry," he says. "I know that means little at this point, but I am. I tried, I think you all would agree that I tried. To be true, to be strong, to be kind, to love, to be right. But I wasn't . . . All is lost here . . . except for soul and body . . . that is, what's left of them.

"It's inexcusable, really, I know that now. How it could have taken this long to admit that, I'm not sure. But it did. I know it now, and I'm sorry. I did not want to go, I still don't, I fought till the end, I'm not sure what that is worth, but know that I did. . . I’m sorry. “ And so the movie begins.

What’s he thinking about when he says these words? Sorry for what and to whom? Is he hinting at a confession? Seeking forgiveness? Reaching for redemption? Writing his last words to put in a bottle?

He made us think? Could we be writing similar words given the right circumstances. What would be your last words to those that matter to you?

In an article in the New Yorker adapted from his book about 911 Jonathan Safran Foer writes,

“Hundreds of phone calls were placed from the twin towers between the time the first plane hit and the time that the north tower collapsed. When words should have been most impossible to find, there were words of grace, and dignity and consolation. Mostly words of love.

If we really want to understand the truth of this event and what it can teach us about our own lives we should look to the men and women who saw that death was near who called home on their cell phones. And not to express anger or fear or bitterness but simply to say 'I love you, take care of the children, have a good life.”

What can we learn from All is Lost and the callers from 911? Don’t wait for a eulogy to say words of affirmation and love to those that matter to you. Tell them now, not only will they greatly appreciate it, it could change their life. 

With Hope and Healing,

Mark

Looking Up with Patience and Prayer

In the blog It’s Not Too Late to Look Up we looked at one of the choices we can make to look up with hope despite how dire our circumstances may be. Allow God’s love to be your life preserver.

Let Patience be your Priority.
We want our problems solved now or at least really soon. Here’s the problem and here is the quick solution, but God sees thing differently.

Our problems are what God uses to bring hope {Tweet this}. We trust in things that aren’t going to last. God may test us to grow us, but not to grade us. Growth and hope aren’t guaranteed results from problems. It takes patience. Romans 5:3-5

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised… We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:15, 19

Yes, being patient with our problems is easy to talk about, but hard to do. No matter how big or small our problems are they will not usually be solved overnight. We live with them every day and some of them can wear us down whether we think they should or not.

One of the ways God helps us to face our problems with patience is not facing them alone. {Tweet this}. Let wise trustworthy friends help you.  By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.   Galatians 6:2

Make prayer be your pressure release.
It’s helpful to talk to others, but we need to talk to God.  O LORD, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from an honest heart. Psalm 17:11

The psalmist is not phony and pietistic, but honest with himself and God. Be honest and you’ll get an honest answer, but you might not get what you’re asking for. Thank God He doesn’t give us what we deserve, but what we really need, grace.

God is never too busy to hear your complaint, He is always listening to you {Tweet this}.  Hurry with your answer, God I’m nearly at the end of my rope. Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me! Psalm 143:7 Everyday carve out some time at home or in your car and talk to God.

Join us next time as we discover that it's not too late to experience that God's promises can be your plan.

Looking Up,

Mark

It's Not Too Late To Look Up

When our circumstances do not turn out the way we hoped and dreamed we have three choices. We can look down with discouragement and despair OR look around and find blame OR look up to God in hope. Maybe you feel that time is running out and it’s too late to … Maybe you can relate to the psalmist when he said,

I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell. I’m written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case. Psalm 88:3-4 (TM)

Not exactly the verse to have on your frig. Yet, no matter what’s happening in your life, no matter how grim, it’s not too late to look up and experience hope. Maybe you’re like a lot of others who wait for the circumstances to change when they’re hungry for hope? What if your situation doesn’t change then what? You might be in very hard place right now, but you don’t have to live without hope.

In Genesis 12 God told Abraham to leave the security of his homeland and go to the promised land and there God would make his name great. Note that God promised His blessing, but on that God directed trip Abraham encountered extreme hardships and relational conflict all throughout his long journey.

Abraham eventually got deeply discouraged. He had been waiting for God’s promised heir for over 25 years. Maybe like Abraham you’re wondering how much longer can I wait? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

The good news is that in the midst of Abraham’s mistakes and deep disappointment we read, “When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do.” Romans 4:18 TM


 God wants us and the people we know to have hope. Where or what do we direct people to? What do we tell people when they ask us where to find hope? Go online and find someone to put your hope in, have another drink, get a change of venue, just be positive… and on it goes.

So, how can we look up with hope despite our desperation? There are some choices we can make when were in this place. The first choice is to…

Allow God’s love to be your life preserver.
Hold unto Him when you don’t have anything else to hold unto. For so many it’s so easy to give up hope and distract ourselves with every imaginable thing that simply doesn’t help. It just prolongs our hopelessness and disappointment.

Don’t allow your job or a significant other to be your life preserver. Yes, your friends and family can help you with encouraging support, but to make them your life preserver is expecting from them what only God can do. Who do you look up to as your life preserver? Only God’s love is there at every moment.

I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made the heavens and the earth!  Psalm 121:1-2

It’s never too late to look up to God triumphantly in trust and surrender.


But I have hope when I think of this: The LORD’S love never ends; his mercies never stop. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3:21-23

Okay, how do you do that? Every day and every morning even when you feel helpless and hopeless remind yourself that God’s love is your ultimate life preserver. Tell yourself before you get up, “no matter what He loves ME!”

In order to look up to God with real hope we have some other choices to make as well, but they’re harder.  Stay tuned for those other practical choices next time.  

Looking Up with Hope,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com

Reduce Stress - Pray and Relax

Thanks for joining us as we continue to learn more life principles from Jesus and how they can reduce our stress. For more insights about reducing your stress see our previous blogs Are You Stressed? And the Truth about Stress here.

Pray
No matter how busy Jesus was He took time to pray.
…Many people came to hear Jesus and to be healed of their sicknesses, but Jesus often slipped away to be alone so he could pray.  Luke 5:15-16

 Crowds of people were coming and going so that Jesus and his followers did not even have time to eat. He said to them, "Come away by yourselves, and we will go to a lonely place to get some rest." Mark 6:31

All the noise and pressures of the world and busyness brings stress. When was the last time you sat still in the quiet and talked to God about your concerns?

Your alarm clock doesn’t wake you with a warm good morning. Many of our days are bombarded with the latest news about our economic future, possible terrorist’s threats, health care, relationship crash, foreclosures, job losses and our own job security. No wonder people are stressed out.

Where do you go for solitude? God is the only one who really knows the full reality of your life and only One who has all the resources to comfort you and change things. So pray…

Relax

Many find it hard to relax today and can’t stop doing… If you’re a workaholic please know that rest and relaxation is not wasted time. Jesus took time off from the most important stuff of life. People’ lives were at stake. Is your job more important than Jesus’? He took time off, so should you. Unless we schedule time off we’ll always have something to do.

What recharges your batteries? Is it hitting balls, reading, exercise, hiking, what? Take time to enjoy life. Learn from God, He rested on the Sabbath. You don’t need to do errands on the one day of rest, whichever day that is for you.

Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made for man.” God knows what we need – he wants what’s best for us. Perhaps you might benefit from reading Tim Hansel’s book, When I Relax I Feel Guilty.

Take intentional steps to avoid and reduce stress that can drive you crazy. One of the greatest sources of stress is refusing to allow Jesus to be part of every detail of your life. Is there any area you’re keeping from Him that’s not submitted to His leadership? We aren’t meant to live apart from Christ; we’re  meant to live in sync with Him.

You can be stressed out without even being busy. Maybe you’re fatigued, feeling like a failure, burned out, fearful, frustrated and living in constant stress? Here is a fantastic offer from two thousand years ago that’s still good today. "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

Notice He didn’t say I’ll give you more work, more rules and more regulations you can’t keep? NO! What He did say is, “Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.  The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." Matthew 11:29-30

Carrying a heavy load? Isn’t time to transfer your load upon Jesus by aligning your life with His? It’s bearable and manageable. Accept His offer.

With Hope and Less Stress,

Mark

mark@markskalberg.com

                                       

Are You Stressed Out?

Thanks for joining us as we learn more life principles from Jesus and how they can reduce our stress.

Knowing Your Priorities
Know what you want to accomplish and set your priorities. You don’t have time for everything. It’s your choice to be guided by priorities or by pressure? Priorities can be what God wants you to do and pressures can come from others. Know your priorities in life or you’ll be yanked and pulled in every direction.

Jesus was clear about his person and his priorities, “… for I know where I came from and where I’m going.” John 8:18a
"I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent."  Luke 4:43
He knew who he was and desired to please His Father “…for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” John 5:30b

Far too many allow someone or something to drive their lives. The yearning for acceptance or status quo can be the cause of much of our stress.

Focus on What Is Important
We can be so easily distracted with being busy with so much trivial pursuits in life that we miss the best things that really do matter. Jesus was a man of focus. As the time drew near for his return to heaven, he moved steadily onward toward Jerusalem with an iron will. Luke 9:51 (LB) Jesus was persistent, determined and focused. The apostle Paul continued the theme of focus, “…this one thing I do.”

You and I might have several things we think we must do, but what are they? Far too many have never decided within themselves what’s most important in life and have squandered the things that do matter. Some end up saying, “I don’t have time to read God’s Word or attend church or serve others and…”; “I’d love to follow you Lord, but I don’t have time right now.”

Jesus addressed his close friend Martha’s misplaced priorities when he said, “Martha, Martha,You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”  Luke 10:41-42.
Focus on Me Martha.

Let Others Help You
It’s a wake-up call to discover that when you’re sick from work they can operate just fine without you. If you’re a perfectionist or a recovering one, you might think if you want a job well done you got to do it yourself. Even though Jesus was perfect he didn’t try to do ministry by himself. He appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach. Mark 3:14

Do you think Jesus could preach better than the disciples? Of course, but he needed them. If Jesus needed help from others, what does that say about you? Stress tells you, “you got to do it yourself, you’ll handle it.” A lot of the times help is just a few feet away. Unfortunately, our pride and insecurity keeps us for asking for help.

It’s humbling to admit,”I need help,” but you’re like everybody else – you need help. We all experience stress, there are no exemptions. Let others help you; it will reduce your stress.

Stay tuned next time as we learn more from Jesus’ life as we look at the last two principles that can help us reduce our stress. Please share your comments with others. They would appreciate it. 

With Hope,

Mark

mark@startingoverworkshops.com

The Truth About Stress

We all experience stress from our job, family, health, finances or relationships. Yet stress is not our problem, it’s a symptom of our problem. Behind our stress are the real issues that cause stress and many of those are myths that can drive us crazy. Would you like to have a strategy to reduce your stress?

Looking at the life of Jesus Christ we can learn how to reduce our stress. I’m amazed at how cool Jesus was in the midst of severe criticism and misunderstanding. How did He do it? We’re going to find out how in the next few blogs. He did it by living according to some principles that can also help reduce our level of stress as well.

The first principle is Knowing Who You Are.
If you don’t know who you are in your identity you’ll be vulnerable to stress. Jesus’ own words reflect that He knew exactly who He was. “I am the light of the world, I am the truth…the door...the shepherd…I came to save that which is lost…”Jesus didn’t need people to validate himself. He was secure in his own skin. If we don’t know who we regarding our identity others will determine it for us.

Our culture, our parents, our significant relationships and our peers can mold us into something we were never meant to be. What a drag it is being what others expect us to be. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but we don’t have to worry about what we’re not. Be who God made you to be. If you do you’ll reduce your stress. Don’t waste your time and energy by comparing yourself with others, be yourself. Don’t allow circumstances to tell you who you are. God doesn’t make clones.

The second principle is Knowing Who to Please.
Trying to please everyone or a lot of people causes stress. While trying to please one group you distance yourself from another. You can be a zero or a hero depending on who you please. In political or philosophical issues you can’t please everyone. Jesus didn’t please the general population. He lived for an audience of ONE. He said, “I always do what pleases the Father”(John 8:38).

Let’s face it we will inevitably disappoint someone. It’s crazy to think I must be liked by everybody to be happy. It’s not true. It’s a myth. Focus on pleasing God. If you do what He wants it will always be right no matter what anybody else thinks, plus you only have to please one person. Just be sure it’s God.

Jesus was not concerned about pleasing others to be liked for fear of rejection or approval, he knew who He was, and He was not a people pleaser. The apostle Paul said, “If I seek to please man I no longer please God.”Galatians 1:10 Whoa! Whose approval are you depending upon for your happiness? Think about that? You don’t need it and may not ever get it! Be freed up, quit living for someone else’s approval.

Knowing who you are is knowing whose you are! Valued and loved by God.

Many blame others for their stress, saying, “I got to…I must…everyone is expecting me to…I have to…” No you don’t, who says? No one is putting a gun to your head, don’t be victim. Nobody is pressuring you without your permission. They can’t. Two people with the same circumstances can have two very different responses because they have a choice just like you. Who are you going to please, God or everybody else?

Please share your comments with others. They would appreciate it.  Join us for the continuation of ‘The Truth About Stress’ from the ‘new’ blog series called ‘Myths That Can Drive Us Crazy.’ Others would appreciate your comments, so please share them.

With Hope,

Mark

mark@startingoverworkshops.com