Your Presence Matters To Others

Don Ritchie moved in across the road from the cliffs that overlook Australia’s beautiful Sydney Harbor where he lived until his death back in 2012. The sheer cliffs of what has been called the ‘Gap’ offered the most picturesque views of the Tasman Sea but also attracted desperate men and women pondering suicide.

Living just 200 feet from the edge of the sheer cliffs Mr. Ritchie would regularly approach individuals who were lingering a little too long overlooking the cliffs and would ask them, “Can I help you in some way?” He had a keen sense to spot would-be suicides and became known as the Angel of the gap. Officials credited Don with preventing 160 deaths, but according to his family, the number is actually 400 - 500. He would invite the hurting individuals contemplating suicide to his home for tea.

“I used to sell kitchen scales and then I was a manager of a life insurance company. At the Gap, I’m trying to sell people life.”

Always remember the power of the simple smile, a helping hand, a listening ear, and a kind word."
                                                                                                                                 - Don Ritchie
 

 Don’s presence saved people’s lives
You are never more like Jesus than when you with great concern (not condemnation, anger or frustration) intervene with someone in their time of affliction. Your faith is never more real than when you inconvenience your schedule to help someone who is in their time of pain.

“A godless world has no time for the outcast, marginalized, and inconveniences of other people. Jesus’ clear words from Matthew 25 turn our attention to the fact that the ‘ministry of presence is all about not missing the opportunities in the mundane moments of life.” Jeremiah Johnston

The ministry of presence is in the unscheduled moments of life
Busyness can be the greatest enemy of wise thinking and an enemy of mental health. Busyness and distractions definitely define our times. Think of how “On-Demand” is offered from education to entertainment and how we are encouraged to binge on this or that.

Jesus’ own words reflect the tension of being in his presence in the midst of distracting busy living.

“For I was hungry a and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me… and when did we see that you sick or in prison and visit you?…“Truly I say to you, as you do that to one of the least of these you did it to me.” Matthew 25:31-46

Jesus’ parable shows the reality that the most basic needs of people are met by others: food, drink, shelter, clothing, medical help, and care during imprisonment. Jesus shows us that in meeting the simplest needs, even the basic needs of life, He can meet every need in life; however, Jesus uses people.  He doesn’t use FedEx or a drone from heaven to your doorstep. God works through people like you and me. 

In our extremely busy world, we schedule everything around our calendars. It’s important to plan and be good stewards of our time, however, life-changing encounters occur in the unscheduled moments of life. 

God enjoys surprising us with his presence!
May we be more aware of how our presence in other people’s lives can be the very thing someone desperately needs and like Don Ritchie, your presence can bring life to others!

The next blog will continue with how your presence really does matters to someone.

 

There Will Be A Better Day Coming

We try to hold on to people, places, and things with everything we have. We do our best to heal divisions within our families, resolve conflict with friends and do what we can to be a peacemaker.  We do our part to encourage others and hope others will do the same.

We pray and hope for family and friends’ physical, emotional and spiritual healing.  We hope for peace, reconciliation, and restoration in our communities and relationships.  We see the tears of disappointed people we know or just met and feel their pain. 

We hear the stories of people at the end of their rope.  They are rich and poor, young and old who are weary and undone.  Speechless. Words can’t even express their sorrow. Take this pain away God or take me home…

Hoping for a better day and a better tomorrow.

In this age of social influencers and celebrities selling immediate gratification for their benefit at our expense, it just adds to the mix of frustration, apathy, and indifference.  As Bob Dylan sang, “I used to care, but things have changed.” All this gets downright discouraging and many have become disengaged and completely isolated. COVID hasn’t helped…

In this crazy mixed-up world where wrong has become right and right has become wrong we all have one thing in common, the need for hope. What we believe about our hope directly impacts how we are experiencing our present. We are irreducibly hope-based creatures. As Christ-followers God’s Word declares that one day we will enter into a glorious rest with indescribable wonders.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” I Corinthian 2:9

On the one hand, we can't possibly comprehend or imagine what heaven will be like. Yet, the Bible gives us so much information about heaven that it is right for us to think about what the future holds. Revelation 21 provides some of the best and most beautiful insight into our future resting place.

We can hold on to our hope and promise that there will come a day when “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4   Songwriter Jeremy Camp put it this way:
 
“We’ll see Jesus face to face, but until that day we’ll hold on to you always. I know the journey seems so long you feel you’re walking on your own, but there’s never been a step where you walked out all alone. Troubled soul don’t lose your heart cause joy and peace He brings and the beauty that’s in store outweighs the hurt of life’s sting.”

Are you looking forward to that day when the One you’ve lived for will wipe away all the sorrows you’ve faced or are facing now? Please know that there will be a better day ahead and until that day comes hold on to the One who is your hope now in this life and into the next.

There is a better day coming!

Instead, they (Hebrews 11) were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:16

 

After We've Blown It

In Redefining Failure, “Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not.”Acts 7:25 Moses’ impulsive self will lead to the death of an Egyptian. When it became know he feared for his life he frantically fled into the Midian wilderness.

Running and exhausted, when Moses arrived in the Midian desert he ‘sat down by a well.’ There at the well, he had the time to reflect on his epic failure and perhaps asked himself, “What did I just do? I can’t believe it. Now, what am I going to do?”

Unlike Moses, many of us do not sit down long enough to process our failings? As Lincoln said, “My great concern is not whether you’ve failed, but are you content with it?” Have we thought it through and accepted it? Do we learn from our failings or are we destined to repeat them?

For the next several decades Moses had another kind of education, one of obscurity in the dry and barren Midian desert. He settled in as a foreigner and learned what it was to be a shepherd and had two sons. During those seemingly forgotten years, God remembered Moses! God still had a plan for him.  Another observation that we can learn from Moses’ life is that…

God Is with You During and After Your Failings
After forty long years, God gave Moses another visit. God had heard the cries of His oppressed people in Egypt (Exodus 2:23) and now He was going to deliver them from their bondage by the hand of Moses. God spoke to Moses and told him that he would, “Tell the Pharaoh to let my people go.”

Moses’ response was, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” After failing so miserably last time it was understandable that Moses was so insistent that he wouldn’t have anything to do with delivering Israel.

Then God said to Moses, “I will be with you.” You see now Moses, last time you did it your way and I wasn’t in it, but this time I AM! You got that Moses? Don’t miss this, “I will be with you!”

Moses continued his adamant reluctance with excuses (Ex.4:1, 10-13). “Not me Lord, I’m not qualified, I’m not a good speaker. Remember Lord, I’m a loser?” O Lord, please send someone else to do it.”Over the years Moses had become preoccupied with his past failure. He couldn’t forget it. His failure became his ball and chain. The second observation is that…Cross references:

Failure Can Lead to a Lack of Trust in God and Yourself
But it doesn’t have to! Unfortunately, some people can’t accept their failure and move on. They’re stuck in their own self-imposed prison cell. It doesn’t have to be that way! Everyone experiences failure, but the biggest failure is not trying again. You can start over!

No matter what we’ve done, know that no one has failed too greatly or too much for God! God doesn’t waste your failures. He uses them to remind you how desperately you really need His presence and guidance. Thankfully, when you do fail God’s acceptance is always available.

God can work your failure into His plans! He knows exactly what to do. He has a long history of redeeming failure. As he was with Moses, God will be with YOU!

As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Join us for the next blog as we learn how the radical turnaround in Moses’ life can help you too!

Honesty in the Journey

All of us struggle and no one is exempt. Bad things happen to good people. A phone call, a hard conversation or a heartbreaking doctor’s report. None of us can escape pain no matter how hard we try. Pain is inevitable, misery is an option.

We can run from our pain or fight it or become cynical and detached. As Simon and Garfunkle sang,
“I touch no one and no one touches me. I am rock and rock feels no pain and an island never cries.”  Many people won’t admit to themselves but they have resigned themselves to, “Is this all I get? I guess this is the best there is.”

We all struggle with something
Whether it’s physical or emotional pain, the pain of failure or a broken relationship, or the pain of honesty. Many are struggling to just to make it through the day.  Some pretend that everything’s okay when their dying inside.  They’re not trying to fool themselves, but maybe they’re trying to fool everyone else. Maybe they think inside that they don’t measure up or that what they’re struggling with is so embarrassing it would not be worthy of someone’s time.

Could it be that we have created a false image of what it means to be a spiritually mature person? As if, being a spiritually mature you don’t ever get depressed, worried or disappointed.  So, many put on a happy face.  Image management can become exhausting and it’s not very fun either.  Far too many buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t even know.

Some of us have been around some older folk when the filters come off and they’re not trying to impress anyone anymore. That can be uncomfortable or refreshing. We’re all human and we all drop the ball.  

Everything doesn’t have to have a positive spin
We don’t have to manufacture positive emotions to assess our lives. God created us with a yearning for belonging and acceptance.  When we understand and experience God’s unconditional love and acceptance we can begin working from acceptance and not for acceptance. As Augustine said, “You have made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its’ rest in You.”

When we’ve been deeply wounded it’s understandable to try to protect our hearts by isolating ourselves. When we are in our deepest struggle we need to stop running away from people.  Do you have someone you can run to?  

We all need people that when we mess up, they run to pick us up. They need to know we need help. It is in community that God brings His greatest healing. We need people who will believe in us and fight for us.

God doesn’t waste your pain
Nothing needs to be wasted on the editing room floor of your life. God can use your pain. If you can be honest and learn how to embrace your pain it can be a gift to you and for others. Since pain is inescapable ask God how He can use your pain to help others.

The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4

Hope and Healing in Loss

Countless people are secretly burdened by loss in some form. They've lost someone that was deeply valued or experienced a broken relationship that seems beyond repair? For others it’s an incurable chronic health issue that has brought them to a place of helplessness and despair. The question is where do we go and what do we do with our losses?

Many in the midst of loss say they live in a place that feels like others are on the ‘outside’ who cannot fully understand without having experienced it themselves. Novelist Aleksandar Hemon refers to grief, “As living inside an aquarium that those on the outside could see in to a degree, but those inside the glass led a completely alien existence.”

When deep tragedies leave us feeling angry or helpless what does it look like to place our trust in God? How can we mourn with those who mourn and allow for grace and healing in our relationships and communities?

Grief is the emotional, psychological and mental experience that results from having lost someone or something deeply loved or valued. Mourning, on the other hand is something we do collectively and externally. According to Dr. Dean Nelson, “Mourning is something we do with the people around us—something that the community does.”

In the Time article by Ruth Davis Konigsberg says, “Grief is not a series of steps that ultimately bring us to a psychological finish line, but a grab bag of symptoms that come and go and, eventually, simply lift.” Grief can be a rollercoaster of emotional spirals. Certain memories from places, times and events related to our loss can bring so much distress we can avoid moving through the grieving process altogether.

Sometimes, instead of moving into the grief, we move away from it in hopes of removing the distress. This may provide short term relief, but can prolong the grieving process.

Grief is something not fully understood
There is no outline. There is no prescription for “getting through” the grieving process.  “The temptation to understand the grieving process through an overly simplistic framework or faulty assumptions can be damaging to those in the midst of their grief, causing even isolation, pain and resentment.”– Christopher Hazell

The way people grieve is just as varied as the uniqueness of their relationships with the people for whom they’re grieving. In A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis describes his own debilitating grief after the loss of his wife; “I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll ‘say something about it or not. I hate if they do, and if they don’t.” Grief is messy and unpredictable.

A place of comfort
Knowing that grief can be a slow process how can Christ followers come along side to provide a place of refuge? Believers are called to bring love and restoration to those who suffer in our midst which includes grief and mourning. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5  This verse implies that mourning is not only acceptable, but has permissive expression in the church. Yet knowing this does the church, do we, do you comfort others?

We don’t do grief here
Our culture has impacted the way we respond to those who are hurting? Sadness doesn’t sell, so let’s move on quickly to a more positive perspective. Some don’t want to listen to someone’s suffering.

By tucking lament under the pews we lose out on a supremely biblical form of worship. Two-thirds of the Psalms are composed of lament psalms. Lament as a form of worship is overwhelmingly present. Walter Brueggemann, an Old Testament scholar and theologian refers to grief as “An awareness that things in our world are broken, bruised, and seemingly beyond repair- an experience of disorientation.”

If we don’t allow a space for honesty with God or the opportunity to have gut-level conversations with God our faith journey is stunted. This can lead to a cardboard faith based on fear and we lose out on an authentic relationship with God because were not honest with Him about our sufferings, struggles and fears. We pretend all is well, even though it isn’t. Jesus cried out from the cross Psalm 22:1, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”

God’s people need not to turn away from lament, but include it in the worship of our daily lives.

Grief in social mediaAt what point does being informed become problematic? Barriers seem nonexistent. With Face Book and Twitter there are no boundaries around when were exposed to events that call for mourning. With back to back exposures from the birth of baby to a bomb in Paris we can become numb and mayhem becomes mundane.

While posting grief on social media has be very helpful for many it can also be used to undermine the very thing it purports: Building community and connection. If used in place of real human connection it can be damaging and even dehumanizing. We can substitute social media for actual physical presence. 

Social media can be easier, but can be a shallow way to reach out to those in grief without any physical interactions. While there is no doubt that social media can be a gift to help us connect and foster community, but not at the expense of real human connection.

Loving others in griefThose in grief don’t need someone to “fix them” but someone to come alongside them without answers, clichés or expectations, but walk with them through a time of sorrow. When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ tomb and was told of His friend’s death. He wept. At times that is what is needed most.

Often we want to simplify and expedite the grieving process. All though it may be well-intentioned, loving someone in grief is never as simple as quoting scripture, praying with them, giving them space, or even crying with them. They may need all these things at different times, or perhaps none of them.”- Christopher Hazell

It may not seem like enough, but sometimes all we can offer is letting someone know they are loved  we are with them.When we process grief we can develop a deeper heart capacity to help others grieve. Being more compassionate is at heart of what Christ is all about.  As we process grief ourselves and with others may we be reminded that this world is not our ultimate home, we were made for a place without tears.

The end of mourning
We live in a broken world with much sorrow and we are not meant to do it alone. We have others who can help us and also the joy of knowing Jesus’ promise that he will always be with us. As Christ followers we can look forward to the day when we will experience our ultimate healing with our God who has measured all our tears.

How To Recover from Divorce or Break Up - Part 3

This is part three and the final blog from the article ‘How to Recovery from Divorce or Break up.’ To read the entire article go here. If you would like to be part of a forum dialogue about topics that matter to you including these blogs click this Group Face Book page and join us. 

7. Loneliness and a supportive community
Going through a breakup means you’ve lost someone you bonded with over a long period, whether it was healthy or not. They were there to listen to you and be there for you. Now that’s gone; things are different now, maybe radically different. You’re not used to be alone, yet being alone is a part of life. Being alone happens to all of us whether we’re married or not. The loneliest person in your zip code might not be a single adult.

Many think that loneliness is a solvable problem, it’s not. It’s a normal human condition that occurs from time to time. You can feel lonely in a crowd or on a business trip or in your own home. Be aware that isolation can be your biggest enemy! Yet, realize that your aloneness can actually help you to reach out to others who care about you.

We all need relationships, even if were introverts or we have convinced ourselves that we are totally self-reliant. God knows we need each other. We’re not meant to be alone. We were created for meaningful relationships. We need to know and be known, to love and be loved. For these reasons, having a supportive community is critical to your recovery.

A community can be a faith community or group of friends or family who can support you. Make sure your supportive community knows you need their support and how you need to be supported.

8. Learn more about yourself and become a better person.
Rather than dwelling on what was done to you be open to learn from your mistakes and blind spots. Don’t just go through relationship loss, grow from it.

Starting over begins with you, not the other person!

If you are to develop better relationships in the future, without repeating the same mistakes, you need to understand and examine every aspect of relationships in regard to yourself.

The Starting Over Workshop can help you discover more about yourself and how to develop meaningful relationships now and in your future. Thousands have discovered hope and deep healing by attending. You can too. It’s time to move forward, isn’t it?

9. Assuming new responsibilities.
When going through relationship loss your life may be upside down. Perhaps nothing is the same and your life is difficult now. Your loss has impacted your finances, your living environment, your social structure and your health. Everything is different now.

Perhaps there is one to take care of you now, don’t look for someone to rescue you; take responsibility for your future. It might be difficult to hear, but embrace and enjoy your singleness, don’t mourn it. This is a time to grow, not stagnate. As a single adult, seek out positive, healthy friendships that provide acceptance and help you to be a better person.

10. Take good care of yourself. Divorce or breakup recovery is a stressful, painful and life-changing process. When people are going through fundamental life changes, they must take care of themselves. Eat well, exercise and get the sleep you need. Rediscover an old hobby or activity you used to enjoy.

Reconnect with some of your old friends and associates. Invite others into your life. Don’t let the walls close in on you. Get out more often. Create new experiences. Without creating new experiences you might continue in your old negative patterns and you don’t need that. Enjoy today!

Although recovering from divorce or a breakup is not easy, you can begin again with hope and a new vibrancy for life. Do you believe your future can be better than your past? The answer to that depends on you.

Please leave your comments below this blog or email them to me at the below address.

With Hope,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com

How to Recover after Divorce or Break Up

To catch the first 'four ways of how to recovery' please go here. If you would like to be part of a forum dialogue about topics that matter to you including this article click this 'new' Group Face Book page and join us. 

5. Understand what letting go means.

Letting go doesn’t mean that we forget, ignore or deny that our relationship mattered and simply move on. None of us are absolutely free from our past, but we can experience freedom in how we see our past. While we cannot change what has happened, we can change the way we respond to it. We can develop a new perspective.

Letting go is accepting my circumstance no matter how unfair it seems or how much I don’t like it. If your former relationship is ongoing, learn how to manage your former relationship, but do not try to control them. Give up your need to understand your former’s behavior. Quit accepting responsibility for what is not your own.

Know that you are not responsible for your former’s choices, only for your own and your children’s welfare. Your future can be better than your past.

6. Forgive your former and yourself.
No matter what happened, you need to forgive. We all knowingly or unknowingly inflict pain upon each other. It doesn’t matter if the painful actions came out of self-defense, self-preservation or revenge.

Blaming will not reduce your pain, but instead harden your heart and prolong your pain. Seeking pay-back or getting even might even feel good for a time, but it will lock you into your own self-imposed bondage. Give up the blame game and forgive your former and yourself.

Psychologist and author Lewis Smedes said, “Forgiveness is surrendering the right to hurt back.” Forgiving your former and yourself is a crucial and inescapable step to your healing. Isn’t it time to forgive and move on?

If you know someone who can benefit from this and the follow up blogs please send this to them.   Join us for the continuation of this article on the next blog for: loneliness and a supportive community; becoming a better person, assuming new responsibilities,  and taking good care of yourself.  

Please leave your comments below this blog or email them to me at the below address.

With Hope,

 

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com

Redeeming Our Choices

God is with us during and after our failings.  
In our last blog  after Moses' epic failure he ran into the desert and sat down at a well.  There he had time to reflect on his failure.  Sitting at that well I’m sure Moses thought: what did I just do to get me where I am at right now! Can you relate? 

Unfortunately, many of us do not sit down long enough to process our poor choices! For the next 40 years Moses received a humbling education in obscurity, but God was with him. Moses' desert experience brought a needed perspective that he didn't have before his failure - humility. 

Failure can lead to a lack of trust in God and yourself
But, it doesn’t have to. Some cannot accept their failures and cannot move on. They’re stuck. When God asks Moses to represent Him to the Pharaoh he was understandably and absolutely reluctant after failing so miserably! Moses: Not me Lord, I’m not qualified, I’m a loser. Moses was preoccupied with his past failure. Are you?

If my heart response is, “I don’t need this, I don’t deserve this, I’m a failure, I can’t do anything right” I'll continue my story line and won’t learn from poor my choices. We're not going to grow and learn if we have this hardened attitude and we'll likely be destined to repeat the same failings again and again. Blaming everybody else for my failings will get me nowhere! 

Do you think your past failings are so huge and consequential and beyond redemption? Do you wonder if God can ever redeem your life? The answer is an emphatic YES! 

Failure is an open door for a deeper trust in God
Maybe like Moses were reluctant to move forward and think our time has passed us by? God can do for us what he did for Moses. He can call us back to Himself and deepen our trust in Him. After Moses’ failure his ‘uninvited and unexpected time’ in the desert brought him to a place of personal reflection and it’s is no different for you and me. Thankfully, there is a better way! Like Moses, we can accept our failings and let Him use them as He chooses.

Failure can increase our confidence in God. 
Even if we think were useless and washed up God can restore us and beckon us to deeper trust in Him. Being in the desert can either drive us away from God or increase our trust in Him! We can choose retreat after failing and throw in the towel or we can learn from our poor choices that our life is not over and neither is our life purpose!  

We can be available and respond differently and confidently when an opportunity arrives. Our fear should not be of failing at something, but failing at something that doesn’t matter all that much. With God's leading and power God used Moses' epic past failure to eventually lead his people out of slavery.

Failure can empower you to help others
God redeemed Moses' failings and He can redeem yours as well. His glory can shine out of what you bring to him in humility! Moses helped thousands and God can empower you to help others too.

Know that God's everlasting arms of acceptance are always open to you! Trust that He can redeem your poor choices to help others. He’s used to it and He’s good at it and he wants to do that for you too.

God Knows

After Joseph’s prison release and his several years of faithful service in the Pharaoh’s court he becomes the equivalent of Egypt’s Prime Minister. During a severe famine twenty years later Joseph’s brothers come to Egypt seeking food for their literal survival. Ironically, they have to bow before Joseph to buy food (remember his dreams?) not recognizing their brother.

Because he deeply yearns to see his dad and younger brother Benjamin Joseph not only provides for them but suspects they are spies and in order to prove their innocence they must leave their brother Simeon behind until they bring back the younger Benjamin from Palestine.

After Joseph’s request his brothers are absolutely undone, "Surely we are being punished because of what we did to our brother Joseph.” In an extraordinary contrast we read, before the years of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph. Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and my entire father's household." The second son he named Ephraim and said, "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering. Gen. 41:50-52.

Ultimately, none of Joseph’s rejection and heartbreak was wasted. Nothing in our lives is insignificant in the hand of a loving God for He does not waste our pain, but uses it (2 Corinthians 1:4).

The brothers return to Egypt for more food and as requested bring their younger brother. At the sight of Benjamin Joseph hurriedly runs from their presence and is overcome with emotion. Joseph plays another ploy on them and keeps Benjamin with him in order to get them to bring back their father Jacob.

The oldest brother Judah emphatically tells Joseph that their father will die of grief if they don’t bring back Benjamin alive. At the hearing of this pleading Joseph can no longer restrain himself and openly weeps as he tells his brothers, “I am Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt,” His brothers were unable to speak because they were terrified at his presence Gen.45:4. Can you imagine being there right then?

Then Joseph kindly said to them, “do not be afraid, and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Genesis 45:1-8  Absolutely amazing! Joseph maintained that God had his best in mind.

God knows and understands your life and can turn evil into good
You can be so easily disillusioned when your hope is in man or the very common shallow fixes the culture readily provides. If you come to place where you think God doesn’t care about you, you are in a very dark place indeed. But it’s just not true. I don't have to know all the answers. I just have to know that God knows, that he is good, and that he loves me. God does care about you and is intimately acquainted with your life.Ps.139:3; Heb. 4:25; 1 Pet.5:7

God wants you to be free from bitterness.
God doesn’t want your heart to become callous and hard. Guard you heart and don’t allow it to slowly become bitter and closed. If you do, you will not be fun to be around. There is a more excellent way.

Joseph had every reason to be bitter, but we have no indication that he hated his brothers after all they did to him. After his 27 years of imprisonment Nelson Mandela who also could have sought revenge said, “People learn to hate, they can be taught to love.” Love that!

“The most difficult ingredient of suffering is often time. Short periods of pain can be endured, but when a sorrow drags on its long and weary way year after monotonous year, returning day after day with the same dull routine of hopeless agony, the heart loses its strength. Without the grace of God, the heart is sure to sink into dismal despair.” C.W. Cowman

God knows your story and He sees every tear drop fall.Thankfully God’s grace is always available to you, it will never run dry. God has not forgotten you. He does cares about you and has the all of heaven’s resources to help you right now! Like Joseph, will you trust that He has your best interest in mind? Trust Him you’ll be glad you did.

With hope and assurance,

Mark

Please Remember Me

Favoritism, jealousy, sibling rivalry, rejection, abandonment, false accusation and imprisonment were all the experiences of the Prince of Egypt. While the extremes of Joseph’s trials pale in comparison to most of our experiences, all of us have been mistreated.

Most of Joseph’s unfair circumstances were linked to other’s decisions. The decisions of others do impact us in ways we wish did not. If you have ever been misunderstood or mistreated there is something in the life of Joseph for you.

Like Joseph, things happen to us that are beyond our control. When everything is stripped away from someone other than God and they face their harsh reality and we see the kind of person they are or who they will become. How true this was of Joseph?

If you look closely at Joseph’s family history you’ll see that it was one of the most dysfunctional families on the planet. Much like how Rebekah spoiled her son Jacob, Jacob pampered his favorite son Joseph from his favorite wife Rachel. Joseph was used to getting his way. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons. Gen.37:3  Oh, how much we can learn about how not to repeat the follies of our own families.

While there are differing opinions about the coat Jacob gave to Joseph most scholars agree that the coat’s appearance declared he was exempt from hard labor and his brothers resented it and became intensely envious and jealous.

 

When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. Gen. 37:4

Most teenagers’ dreams don’t come true, but when Joseph shared (perhaps arrogantly?) his prophetic dreams that his dad and brothers would bow down to him they resented him even more. So, when the opportunity came his brothers sought to kill him, but instead they sold him to some traveling Ishmaelites who later sold him to Potiphar, the Pharaoh’s captain of the guard. They smeared animal blood on the very coat that aroused so much angst and told their father he had been killed by a wild animal. Liars!

Now rejected, abandoned and sold like livestock Joseph is in a strange land with a new culture and language. Perhaps Joseph thought his arrogance and pride got him there or he blamed his brothers, but either way God was in this.

In the midst of his despair the Bible says, God was with Joseph. The Lord was working things out despite how Joseph felt. Joseph faithfully served Potiphar and God blessed  his hard work.

Even though Joseph proved his integrity by not caving into the demands of Potiphar’s desperate housewife, Potiphar believed his wife’s false accusation of rape and he was promptly convicted and imprisoned. While in prison Joseph had plenty of time to think about his life, how it all went wrong and how messed up his family was.

Have you ever thought, will my situation ever change, will I ever see deliverance? Can God change it or should I?

Now seemingly forgotten in prison Joseph successfully interprets the dreams of fellow inmates who providentially were the Pharaoh’s former cup bearer and baker. Joseph pleads with them, “when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison.”

Unfortunately, upon their release, the baker and the cup bearer forgot about Joseph. But the God who sees and cares did not forget him. Despite all that Joseph had been through God had an ultimate purpose for him, the saving of many lives including his entire family. Two years later Joseph’s ability to accurately interpret dreams was finally recognized and he was released.

One truth that we can apply from Joseph’s life is that God works all things for His glory and your good.  Five times we read that the Lord was with Joseph in the midst if it all. It’s true for you too. God has not forgotten YOU! Please don’t’ forget that. 

“Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ."  John Piper, A Sweet and Bitter Providence

Later Joseph told his brothers, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” Genesis 50:20

 

You and I have a real choice to make, we can throw in the towel and resign ourselves to despair, cynicism and blaming others OR we can choose to believe that God is working on our behalf despite what it may look like. Now, move forward and make the right choice, you’ll be glad you did.

 

Is God Unreasonable?

The way we interpret the things that happen to us can determine whether we become better or bitter. The interpretations of our experiences become our assumptions about our present and our future, but are those assumptions true or are they myths? What kind of myths do we have about God?

The way we see God impacts the way we see ourselves. Do you see yourself as a beautiful unique creation designed by God or a product of lucky mud? If you have a warped view of God you just might have a distorted view of yourself. False assumptions about God not only impact you, but those around you. Myths about God can drive us crazy.

The various answers to what is God like have provoked countless philosophies and diverse religious thought with tragic circumstances. From the crusades to modern day Islamic terrorism assumptions about God are all over the map.

The Apostle Paul warned believers that, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” Colossians 2:8

Jesus exposed myths and stereotypes about God. He wanted others to know that His father was not a distant, uncaring, disengaged God, but a personal God who desires a relationship with His creation. When we have false beliefs about God it messes us up. When someone says, ‘I don’t believe in God’ what they’re really saying is ‘this is the kind of God I don’t believe in.’ There are four very common myths about God.

Myth #1 - God Is Unreasonable
Millions believe that God is a killjoy with too many demands and unreasonable requirements. That He wants me to be good and boring. That he waits for me to have fun and then says, ‘no, no.’ This first myth was what the devil used on Adam and Eve.

Originally, God told them to enjoy paradise with all its’ pleasure and delight. Eat everything, but there’s just one thing I don’t want you to do. And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."  Genesis 2:16-17

Notice that God didn’t say you can’t enjoy what you see and that 95% of the garden is prohibited, but there is just one thing. There are 99 things you can do, but not this one thing. Is that one restriction unreasonable? Why this one prohibition? God wanted man to choose to love Him willingly, not because there was no other choice.

Now the serpent was craftier than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Genesis 3:1

Satan perverts the truth into a lie making it appear that God is unreasonable, a sadist. Is it unreasonable for a parent to tell their teenager as they hand them the keys to the car, “have a good time, but be home by midnight.”? But we hear,“you never let me have a good time.”

The parent didn’t say you can’t have a good time and that the whole world is off limits, no, just be home at midnight. Many teenagers think it’s unfair to have restrictions. Why do we? It’s because we love them.

Truth - God is a compassionate Father
As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Ps.103:13 Exodus 34:6-7; Psalm 145:9; Lamentations 3:22

God is motivated by love. He wants us to enjoy all the things he has given us, just don’t misuse or abuse them because you’ll get hurt and probably hurt someone else.

No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths…Put your hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Psalm 84:11: I Timothy 6:17

Things would be a whole lot better if we did things God’s way. When God says no to us it’s not because He wants us miserable, but because He loves us. Satan deceives us into thinking that obeying God and having fun are opposites. God doesn’t know best, we do, so go with it.

We like to give gifts to those we love. In contrast, God’s gifts to His kids are always motivated from love and concern knowing what we truly need. For every no there are a thousand yeses! Hopefully we do not see God as a God of prohibitions, but a God of blessings. God is not unreasonable, but is a compassionate Father. Father knows best.

Got Courage?

We can never be successful in life without courage. We’ve all heard amazing stories and acts of heroism that are worthy of the news broadcasts. Most would agree that courage changes things in our lives and those around us on all levels.

We need relational, moral and spiritual courage. We need the courage to make the right decisions about our present situation and our future. We need courage to make the best call regarding your kids, your finances, your relationships. My guess is that you want more courage in your life too. No one wants to live a life motivated by fear and anxiety. So, what is courage?

Courage is often portrayed in the culture as a one-time event or a particular profession, but it also takes courage to make decisions with the ordinary challenges we face in our everyday lives.Often times we make choices so quickly we don’t even realize their impact on others. We go with the flow instead of making decisions that are courageous.

”The probability that we may struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe is just.” Abraham Lincoln

During the Civil War, Lincoln stood tall against the conventional wisdom of the day by making difficult, principled decisions. Despite the challenges he would endure Lincoln courageously kept his conviction rather than caving in for convenience or the approval of the majority.

If you were to do a study of the Bible on courage you would find countless characters who were fearful, yet demonstrated courage. You would discover many ‘fear nots’ proclaimed to ordinary people who were overwhelmed and without control of their circumstances. Are you feeling overwhelmed right now?

Joshua was feeling intimidated and fearful about taking over for Moses and leading Israel into the Promised Land.  That’s why God encouraged Joshua three times to,“be strong and courageous.” God wants to encourage you with three realities about courage:

We need spiritual courage.

Some say Christians are wimpy, weak willed, and in need of religion for their own insecurities. Yet, Christianity challenges people to give their whole heart, their whole life to God, to give the best they have. It takes courage to repent, to own up to your sins. It takes courage to admit you’re wrong.

It takes courage to admit you could have handled things differently. It takes courage to ask forgiveness from your kids and maybe from your friends. It takes courage to change the course of your life. It takes courage to move on and accept your circumstance and discover what you can learn from your failings…

It’s so easy to choose ourselves over others, greed over sharing, and pleasure over giving. But, it takes courage to look in the mirror and say, “I need to change.” It takes courage to speak the truth in love when it’s more convenient not to. It takes courage to live for God when the culture is screaming why bother.

We need moral courage.I don’t see a lot of moral courage in today’s culture. It takes courage to stick with your convictions. It takes guts to stand firm in your values and principles in the marketplace. But it can cost you something, perhaps popularity, maybe friends, or maybe that promotion because you told a client the truth. Stand up for truth and grace, the brave ones do, and you can be one of them.

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Teddy Roosevelt

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

You can choose to model love and character to your children and desire to be best parent you can be. Don’t give up, never give up…

We Need Relational Courage... Join us for the continuation next time 

Remembering the Waldo Canyon and Black Forest Fires

June 23 will be the 2nd anniversary of the Waldo Canyon Fire and last year’s Black Forest Fire just a year ago.  After having been told we were ‘going to be alright’ in Mountain Shadows within two days we we’re told to evacuate as fast as possible. The evacuation impacted 94,000 acres (147 sq. mi) , 13,000 homes and 38,000 people. Three shelters were established in the area, including Elbert County Fairgrounds, which accepted humans, pets, and large animals. Two other shelters were designated for large animals only.

About a year ago I blogged about what we can learn from the traumas in life that we don’t plan or ever expect. Here is that blog below:

As you drive along mountain roads you can see signs that say,‘Beware of falling rocks!’ Good advice, but how do we put that into practice? If we saw some falling rocks, should we immediately stop the car and perhaps cause an accident? Or should we speed up and try not to be a target? Or should we just “watch and pray” and trust God to keep the rocks from falling?

The rocks didn’t come, but the fires did and we couldn’t see them coming or stop them from coming. The Black Forest has burned over 14,000 acres and over 500 home have been lost. The fire has triggered a lot of sad memories for those of us impacted from last year’s Waldo Canyon fire.

Over 850 homes have been totally destroyed in the Colorado Springs area in the last year. 

The grieving and healing process takes time and people process their disappointment and sadness in different ways. 

This last year I’ve seen traumatic heart breaking losses with friends who lost everything they own and their loved ones. In the news there’s amazing life changing stories from the victims of the fire and how 1^st responders have saved lives and property. We hear stories from hopeful resilient people desiring to rebuild their lives, homes, neighborhoods and process together as communities.

For many their hope comes from their faith. How is it possible to experience abounding joy when we’re in the valley of despair? As the apostle Paul said we can experience hope from the Word of God. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4 

Here are a few encouraging examples.

In the midst of his deep disappointment over the destruction of his homeland Nehemiah experienced real abiding hope and joy. Although distraught with the utter mess of his beloved homeland, upon his return he said, “The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard from far away and the joy of the Lord is our strength” Neh.12:43; 8:10.

Though we may be hurting and numb hope is indeed possible during our anger, tears, disappointment and fears. Though Nehemiah’s book opens with ‘great trouble’ he closes with ‘great joy’ because their great God allowed them to rebuild the walls of his beloved Jerusalem. When the Hebrews returned to their home in Israel after seventy years of their humiliating Babylonian exile they were able to express their deep joy despite their circumstances.

“When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy…. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.”Psalm 126:1-3, 5-6

The rocks fell on Job. He suffered as few have suffered. In one day, all his great wealth was taken from him and his ten children died. Then he was afflicted with sores from head to foot, painful sores that disfigured him grossly and kept him awake at night. He left his home and sat outside the town on the ash heap where the trash was collected.

There he mourned and meditated, talked with some friends, and waited for the Lord to help him. When things couldn’t get much worse  and after Job lost everything He was still able to express his hope.

”I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! Job 19:25-27

During a time of Israel’s worsening condition Isaiah echoed this same hope to Israel with application for us by reminding them of God’s unending presence and love.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Though a parent may forget you, I will not forget you.  Isaiah 54:10; 49:15

It is possible to experience hope in the midst of severe disappointment and loss and with that hope a grateful heart. Gratitude goes against our need to feel in control of our environment.

Sometimes with gratitude we just need to accept life as it is and be grateful for what we have.

Living with a grateful heart is good, but it’s even better if it causes you to go out and help others because of it. May God help us to help others by sharing the hope we have in Christ.

Please share your comments and pictures.

Sharing Hope,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com