You're Worth Pursuing

I’m struck by what I’ve just watched on the news. More racial accusations, mean spirited politicians, unresolved border crisis, hurricanes and flooding and more political corruption. Life as usual. The broadcast ends with the smiling anchor saying, “Good night, we’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Good night? That’s it? It would be great if just once an anchor said with a deep sigh, “Oh, God help us, we desperately need your help.”

We see someone we think has it all together and we wonder, how did he do it? Maybe if we read the same book he read, spent some time with him and things would come together for us as well. Really, what do we want? We want comfort and happiness, not bad news and reality.

We want to escape from… or be like…or have more or have less...
In the midst of very trying times the apostle Paul said, Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead. Be very careful how you live, not as unwise but as wise. Use your head. These are desperate evil times. Ephesians 5:14-16 

We are not in Eden, the Matrix, or Disney World
We live in the real world where life doesn’t go as we planned. People break our hearts and we do the same. In this broken fallen world is there something that can give us a deeper sense of sustaining hope? Yes.

Despite all the bad news that comes our way when we know we are truly loved we can continue on. When we know we are wanted and pursued by someone it gives us hope to hang in there. Because many of us have never felt so loved we have pursued lesser things that have left us numb and empty.

The good news is that God loves and pursues you
Helen of Troy must have been something. Thousands were killed in the battles between Greece and Troy over who would get Helen. Would it be her husband Menalaus or Paris, Prince of Troy? Few have ever been so pursued.

Many have never been pursued or even noticed all their lives. Who has passionately pursued you in the right way?

In the movie The Last of the Mohicans, Nathaniel, raised by the Mohican Indians is in love with Cora, the daughter of a proud British Colonel. In one of the final scenes Cora, Nathaniel and others, are trapped behind a waterfall with a rival Indian tribe closing in.

Before Nathaniel jumps into the massive waterfall to escape he passionately tells Cora,
“just stay alive no matter what, do whatever you have to do and no matter where, no matter how long, no matter how far, I will find you.” In the climax he relentlessly pursued and rescued Cora.

God is saying the same thing to you. He believes you’re worth pursuing
The divine romancer will passionately come after you no matter where you are or how far you’ve gone! Even if you don’t want to be pursued He will not give up on you.

God could have given up on His love affair with mankind. He could have demanded our loyalty or made us love Him, but he didn’t. Thankfully, we don’t have to get God to love us by doing something right. There is nothing we need to do to make Him love us, because His love for us is not based on what we’ve done, but whose we are. We are His.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. I John 4:10

Before the foundations of the world God loved you and wanted you to be in His family. He wanted you then and still does today. You are constantly on His heart. He will never forget you or get tired of you. He is totally committed to you!

His passionate love for you will never be exhausted. May His love for you always be your hope.

Knowing You Are Pursued

We are not in Eden, Mayberry or Disney World.
We live in the real world where life doesn’t go as we planned. People break our hearts and we do the same. In this broken fallen world is there something that can give us a deeper sense of sustaining hope? Yes.

Despite all the bad news that comes our way when we know we are truly loved we can continue on. When we know we are truly wanted and pursued by someone it gives us hope to hang in there.

Because many of us have never felt so loved we have pursued lesser things that have left us numb and empty. Many have never been pursued or even noticed all of their lives. Who has passionately pursued you in the right way?

In the movie The Last of the Mochicans Nathaniel, raised by the Mohican Indians is in love with Cora, the daughter of a proud British Colonel. In one of the final scenes Cora, Nathaniel and others, are trapped behind a waterfall with a rival Indian tribe closing in.

Before Nathaniel jumps into the massive waterfall to escape he passionately tells Cora, “Just stay alive no matter what, do whatever you have to do and no matter where, no matter how long, no matter how far, I will find you.” In the climax he relentlessly pursued and rescued Cora.

God is saying the same thing to you. He believes you’re worth pursuing. The divine romancer will passionately come after you no matter where you are or how far you’ve gone! Even if you don’t want to be pursued or think you don't need it He will not give up on you.

God could have given up on His love affair with mankind. He could have demanded our loyalty or made us love Him, but he didn’t. Thankfully, we don’t have to get God to love us by doing something right.

There is nothing we need to do to make Him love us, because His love for us is not based on what we’ve done, but whose we are. We are His.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. I John 4:10

Before the foundations of the world God loved you.
He wanted you then and still does today. You are constantly on His heart. He will never forget you or get tired of you. His passionate love for you will never be exhausted. May God always be your ultimate place of hope!

A Word About Online Dating

A word about online dating. Improvement for Husbandry and Trade periodical featured an ad by John Hewton stating he wanted to share his destiny with a young lady and they could “come to an agreement about the details.”

The year was 1695. Such ads were exclusive to men in those days. Despite this, in 1795, the courageous Helen Morrison, searching for a life partner, placed an ad in the Manchester Weekly Journal.  The town Mayor promptly arrested her and held her for four weeks
As Bob Dylan sang, “The times they are a-changin.” Yes, they sure have changed.

Looking for Love Online is BIG BUSINESS!
Today, anyone can go on-line seeking everything from an activity buddy to a life partner. The Beatles wailed, “Money can’t buy you love.” Don’t try telling that to the masses.  Looking for the ‘date’ and the search for on line love (or whatever it is) rakes in billions in revenue every year.

There are 40 million Americans using online dating websites and those users range from young to old. The share of 18 to 24 year-olds who report having used online dating has nearly tripled in the last two years. Today 27% of these young adults report that they have done so, up from just 10% in early 2013. Meanwhile, the share of 55 to 64 year-olds who use online dating has doubled over the same time period (from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015).

41% of Americans know someone who uses online dating; 29% know someone who has met a spouse or long-term partner via online dating.

Match.Com  brings in about one billion in annual revenue with 15 million users, six million of them logging in daily to find love, with a mere 1.5% success rate. Match determines success as “a relationship that developed as a result of the site.” With 10 million users in 2006, eHarmony reported 33K marriages, a puny 1%.  Since eHarmony defines success as “a match resulting in marriage” by their own terms, 99% of their users failed.

On line dating sites make it possible for millions of singles…and countless non-singles who purport to be single, to connect with one another in a quest for various forms of companionship. It falls to the consumer to determine whether or not it’s worth the effort.

Financial expense and success ratios are but two considerations in a line of criteria to help singles come to their own conclusion about the real value of online dating. So, what do you think?

If you’ve got a story to share (I’ll keep it confidential and possibly use it in a future blog without your name attached) let me hear from you at:  mark@startingoverworkshops.com

Don't miss our next blog that will examine the advantages and disadvantages of online dating. You can also comment below as well.

Starting Over Fall WorkshopColorado Springs, CO

September 11 - October 16 Register here

The Perfect Match

Millions are inundated with the myth that there is a perfect match for them. Somewhere ‘out there’ is the perfect match for me, my true soul mate, the person who fits me like a glove, who fits my soul the way a key fits into a lock.

Every week over 30 million are on the elusive search for the perfect match. So, one turns over every stone or possible lead only to discover after an exhausting pursuit, ‘it just isn’t so.’ Then, after their empty pursuit many become pessimistic, “Where have all the good guys gone?” Some even come to a place of despair and hopelessness desperately wanting something or someone.

Our longings for someone is strong and the thought of our future can become painful. Many philosophers, theologians and psychologists have written that the soul cannot survive for long in a state of despair, but we find a way to manage it by resignation. Learning to accept the inevitability of our circumstances with serenity is a good course of action, although definitely not easy.

But resignation alone cannot sustain a life
The writer Ernest Hemingway (don’t let the romanticized Hemingway’s role in in the Midnight in Paris fool you) said, “Sooner or later, the world breaks everyone, and those who are broken are strongest in the broken places.”

Sometimes that is true
But sometimes people write nice things they hope to be true only to find they don’t help. Hemingway himself didn’t get stronger and ended his own life because his pain was too great.

But, there is always HOPE which is not based on circumstances, but rather in God.
Many hope for a lot of things, but the good news is that hope can be experienced. Hanging around hopeful people can really help too.  Yet, none of us can ensure that things will work out the way we want them to, but we can ask ourselves, ”How would the person I want to be face this situation?”

We might not be able to change our situation, but many of our situations are temporary and the person you are becoming will go on. You have to live with you. What are you going to do about your circumstance or better yet, who are you going to become through it?

Adversity can change your priorities about what really matters. Billy Bean, former GM of the Oakland Athletics, whose character was portrayed in the Academy Award nominated movie ’Money Ball’, decided his daughter was worth more than the highest paid GM in baseball (12M).

Disappointment and adversity can point us in a different direction.
While I was teaching a Bible study in a prison I met several who pointed themselves in a different direction. Their circumstance helped them see what was really important in life. A few were formerly rich and had traveled the world, but told me if they were to visit one more place before they die it wouldn’t be luxurious places, but rather their prison cell where they met God.

Hope points us beyond ourselves.
In a difficult world where at times it can seem that nothing is going up we may ask, “What’s going up for me?” One thing that can ‘go up’ in our lives is the opportunity for you and me to trust God. Our trust in God can always can go up! It isn’t easy, but it’s wide open because God’s grace and His love are always available!

For more about meaningful relationships check out our blogs on ‘Dating’

The Origins of Valentine's Day

What Is Valentine’ Day?
It’s a big day for chocolates, flowers and very high expectations. 53% of women say they will end a relationship if they don't get a Valentine card, yet 85% of cards are bought by women. Men will spend twice as much as women. Americans will spend a collective $18.9 billion on candy, flowers and more gifts for the holiday.  The average American will spend 116 dollars. Perhaps you're feeling left out?

Millions wonder, Am I really special to someone else?
Millions are feeling kind of 'out of it' or disappointed. It's not just young school kids who wish they could get a Valentine card or even a note of affection. There are more tales of the "origins" of Valentine's Day than arrows in Cupid's quiver. 

Modern glorification of sentimental love is reflected in a flurry of cards (2^nd only to Xmas), millions in roses and heart shaped chocolates has little to do with Saint Valentine. 

One of the most common legends is that of the 3rd-century priest named Valentine who secretly performed marriages when Emperor Claudius II reportedly forbade marriage believing the soldiers were halfhearted and homesick. He was imprisoned for his act of defiance and while in prison cured his jailer's daughter of blindness. The day before his execution (supposedly Feb. 14, 269), he sent a farewell message to the daughter signed "From your Valentine."

The first Valentine card was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife in 1415 when he was a prisoner in the Tower of London and is still on display at the British Museum. Even by the middle ages the church's hope for a more spiritual, saint-centered Valentine's Day was lost.

Eventually, the idea that Valentine was actually the name of a person disappeared. By 1450, a valentine was the name of one's sweetheart. In 1533, it was a folded piece of paper. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century.

By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged.

Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s the first mass-produced valentine cards in America. Valentine's Day has been a big deal at least since the middle ages.

While Valentine's story may not have much to do with roses, chocolates, and heart-shaped chocolates Christians have long understood that love is much costlier, stronger, and lasting and more difficult than the cheap romanticism of our age.

If you feel left out on Valentine’s Day God reminds you what true love is 

I have loved you with a an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

You are precious to me and honored and I love you. Isaiah 43:4

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:10

Grasp how wide and how long and how deep is the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:18

Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

God is in a relentless passionate pursuit of YOU!  No matter who you are or where you are, no matter how far it takes He will find you! His Love will never be exhausted in His pursuit of you!

The Divine Romance

I’m struck by what I’ve just watched on the news. There are more deaths by ISIS, more racial tension, more shootings, more devastating fires and floods and political corruption. Life as usual. The broadcast ends with the smiling anchor saying, “Good night, we’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Good night? That’s it? After all you’ve just told us, it’s good night? It would be great if just once the anchor said with a deep breath, “Oh, God help us, we desperately need your help.”

We see someone we think has it all together, we wonder, how did he do it? Maybe if we read the same book he read, spent time with him, went to his church, things would come together for us as well. Really, what do we want? We want comfort and happiness, not bad news and reality.

We want to escape from… or be like…or have more…In the midst of very trying times the apostle Paul said, Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead. Be very careful how you live, not as unwise but as wise. Use your head. These are desperate evil times. Ephesians 5:14-16 

We are not in Eden, Mayberry or Disney World.
We live in the real world where life doesn’t go as we planned. People break our hearts and we do the same. In this broken fallen world is there something that can give us a deeper sense of sustaining hope? Yes.

Despite all the bad news that comes our way when we know we are truly loved we can continue on. When we know we are wanted and pursued by someone it gives us hope to hang in there. Because many of us have never felt so loved we have pursued lesser things that have left us numb and empty.

The good news is that God loves and pursues you.
Helen of Troy must have been something. Thousands were killed in the battles between Greece and Troy over who would get Helen. Would it be her husband Menalaus or Paris, Prince of Troy? Few have ever been so pursued.

Many have never been pursued or even noticed all their lives. Who has passionately pursued you in the right way?

In the movie The Last of the Mohicans, Nathaniel, raised by the Mohican Indians is in love with Cora, the daughter of a proud British Colonel. In one of the final scenes Cora, Nathaniel and others, are trapped behind a waterfall with a rival Indian tribe closing in.

Before Nathaniel jumps into the massive waterfall to escape he passionately tells Cora,
“just stay alive no matter what, do whatever you have to do and no matter where, no matter how long, no matter how far, I will find you.” In the climax he relentlessly pursued and rescued Cora.

God is saying the same thing to you. He believes you’re worth pursuing. The divine romancer will passionately come after you no matter where you are or how far you’ve gone! Even if you don’t want to be pursued He will not give up on you.

God could have given up on His love affair with mankind. He could have demanded our loyalty or made us love Him, but he didn’t. Thankfully, we don’t have to get God to love us by doing something right. There is nothing we need to do to make Him love us, because His love for us is not based on what we’ve done, but whose we are. We are His.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. I John 4:10

Before the foundations of the world God loved you and chose you to be in His family. Eph.1:15. He wanted you then and still does today. You are constantly on His heart. He will never forget you or get tired of you. His passionate love for you will never be exhausted. May His love for you always be your hope.

We Were Made for So Much More

If you haven’t noticed Tom Brady has problems. We all do.

In 2007 after having won three Super Bowl rings Tom Brady told interviewer Steve Kroft, “Why do I have three Super Bowl rings and still think there’s something greater out there for me?...I reached my goal, my dream, my life. I think, ‘it’s got to be more than this.’ I mean this isn’t, this can’t be what it’s all cracked up to be.”

When Kroft asked him, “What’s the answer?” Brady responded, “I wish I knew. I wish I knew. I love playing football, but at the same time, I think there are a lot of other parts about me that I’m trying to find.” 

                        

                        “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” Bono

                              “I can’t get no satisfaction.” Mick Jagger

This constant theme of ‘there’s got to be something more’ is not just for highly visible celebrities, but for all of us. The band Switchfoot said it well,

               We we’re made to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?
                      Somewhere we live inside dreaming about Providence
                                And whether mice or men have second tries
                           Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
                                 Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
                                 We want more than this world's got to offer
                              And everything inside screams for second life

There is more to life than our achievements, goals, reputation, agreement, doing good and being a nice person. There is more to life than our comfort and avoiding conflict. Life is more than duty and obligation. More than others’ expectations and approval. It is more than our outward appearance and intelligence. More than…

As Solomon well said there is more to life than chasing the winds of hoarding affluence and pleasure (Ecclesiastes 2:1-11; 5:8-12). While God can give us wealth and possessions to enjoy He wants something so much more for us than what we’ve been told. The culture and well-meaning friends have duped us in believing that a satisfying life is to be lived on our own terms and definitions. In other words, I’ll do it my way. God’s way is far better.

As Jesus said, “I have come so you may have life and have it in abundance.”
Jesus was not talking about how the culture defined abundance. He was saying despite life’s hardships we could experience life how it was truly meant to be, a life full of contentment, meaning and joy found only in a relationship with Him.

Without God who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness. Ecclesiastes 2:25-26

God wants more for you than you might expect.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

Find out what can happen when we grasp how we were made for so much more in the next blog.

Five People You Should Never Marry

Enjoy this blog by guest blogger Debra Fileta. 

Have you ever been in a situation where all the facts told you it’s not going to work, but you tried to make it work anyway?

I definitely have.

think of the time I traveled overseas and attempted to cram my luggage with about 10 pounds more than I should have. A few hours later, I was dealing with a busted bag and my stuff strewn across the airport floor, just moments before my flight.

But even more applicable, I think of the different guys I dated in my twenties, who were loaded with yellow and even red flags. I wanted to be in a relationship so badly that I downplayed the warning signs and tried to make it work. Thank God He spared me and gave me the wisdom to move away before things got serious.

A lot of us do the same thing when it comes to choosing relationships. Whether we’re swept away by emotion or driven by our fear of failure, we often walk into a relationship or stay in a relationship in which all the facts clearly tell us, "It ain’t gonna work.” Yet we try to make it work anyway.

But the thing about healthy relationships is that...Continue reading..

What To Do You When You're Lonely?

There is epidemic of loneliness in the U.S.
Four out of ten Americans admit frequent feelings of intense loneliness. Loneliness has been described as: assuming others have it together, but you; taking inventory of your life and feeling you’ve made many wrong choices; you’re hurting, but no one understands your pain or it’s an aching to have someone to share your life with.

Webster’s simply says loneliness is ‘being without company.’ Countless hit songs from ‘Only the Lonely’ to, ‘Lonely, I’m so lonely’ provided plenty of income for song writers. There’s a reason millions related to the chorus of an old song from ‘A World without Love’
Please lock me away and don’t allow the day, here inside, where I hide with my loneliness

Many who experience loneliness are careful not to let people know they are. Millions think that their loneliness will go away by finding someone to take it away and so the search begins. The reasoning goes like this, ‘when’ I’m in a relationship or ‘when’ I get married then I won’t be lonely anymore.

Unfortunately, many lonely hearts pursue the countless online offers that exploit their need for companionship. The pursuit takes a lot of your time and it can be utterly empty. For millions when their fantasy of thinking that someone will take away their loneliness does not become a reality they become so pessimistic that they don’t believe that a good relationship is even possible. Not true.

Regardless of your relationship status taking another look at loneliness can help us all, it might even change your life perspective. There are a lot of reasons why people feel lonely and I’m sure you could provide a list of the many empty and dissatisfying things people do when they’re feeling lonely. Too many make poor decisions when they’re lonely. When you feel lonely what do you do and where do you go?

Many think that loneliness is a solvable problem and all they need to do is find the key, a person, and it will be solved once and for all. So, I’ll find someone to solve my loneliness and the search is on. No wonder 40 million go on line each week searching for their some kind of wonderful. Remember the scene from Jerry McGuire when Jerry’s girlfriend said, “Jerry, you can’t be alone; you’ve never been alone…” Many believe the same thing about themselves.

Yet, there is a difference between aloneness and loneliness.
Aloneness is the physical state of being separated from others.

All of us regardless of our relational status experience a sense of aloneness and yearn for relationships. Yet, loneliness is not dependent upon the lack of people in our lives. We can still feel lonely in a crowd.

Extroverts can laugh and be around people constantly and still be a member of the lonely hearts club. For introverts aloneness can be less intimidating, but have a greater risk of isolation and subjective introspection. Alone could simply mean, “I’m alone right now, no big deal, I have friends, family and co-workers…”
Loneliness is an emotional state of feeling disconnected from others.

Whatever the cause loneliness has very little to do with being single. Some of the loneliest people are married. Loneliness is not solved my marriage. Saying ‘I do” does not solve loneliness or guarantee intimacy. A study of 3,400 married couples by the University of Michigan revealed that 65% are profoundly unhappy and 70% said they wouldn’t marry the same person. While that survey may reflect today’s ‘selfie’ culture, it is what it is.

The problem is we have unspoken assumptions about loneliness. We attach meaning and the consequences to loneliness, don’t we? Much of our perception of loneliness comes from our unfortunate dysfunctional upbringing and from societal assumptions from popular culture, like…

I am unlovable. I am undesirable. I am a social failure. I am a bad person. Nobody could ever want to be with me. I am not a whole person unless I have a partner or spouse. I just can’t be alone. I deserve a relationship. I have to have some romantic relationship in my life. I’ll settle for bad love than no love at all. What would you add to the list?

Join us next time for some practical answers to what you need to do when you’re lonely?

Open Up Your Valentine’s Card?

Millions are being spent on endless advertisements about Valentine's Day ideas and what to give to someone on Valentine's Day. Millions are being spent in response. Millions of others ask, "who is my Valentine?" or they wonder "am I special to someone else?" Millions are feeling kind of  'out of it' or disappointed. It's not just young school kids who wish they could get a Valentine card or even a note of affection..

What is Valentine's Day? There are more tales of the "origins" of Valentine's Day than arrows in Cupid's quiver. As expected, most have something to do with pagan rituals. Our modern glorification of sentimental love, celebrate with a flurry of cards (2^nd only to Xmas), 180$ million in roses; 36 million in heart shaped chocolates has little to do with Saint Valentine. 

One of the most common legends is that of the 3rd-century priest named Valentine who secretly performed marriages when Emperor Claudius II reportedly forbade marriage believing the soldiers were halfhearted and homesick. He was imprisoned for his act of defiance and while in prison cured his jailer's daughter of blindness. The day before his execution (supposedly Feb. 14, 269), he sent a farewell message to the daughter signed "From your Valentine."

And so a tradition begins…

The first Valentine card was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife in 1415 when he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. It's still on display at the British Museum. Even by the Middle Ages, the church's hope for a more spiritual, saint-centered Valentine's Day was lost. And eventually, the idea that Valentine was actually the name of a person disappeared. By 1450, a valentine was the name of one's sweetheart. In 1533, it was a folded piece of paper.

In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged.

Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s the first mass-produced valentine cards in America. Valentine's Day has been a big deal at least since the Middle Ages.

If you feel left out and perhaps even unwanted on Valentine’s Day, God has a way reminding US of His love! Here is a one story…

"Hurrying through Chicago's commuter train station, I had an "Aha!" moment that stopped me in my tracks. I'd just left the candy counter where I'd bought Valentine's treats for an upcoming party a few of us were planning for our church's single moms. Doing so took my thoughts back to a cookout the previous summer, for which I had covered the cost. The single moms, their children, and I enjoyed a glorious day at a local sunshine-drenched beach, conversing and stuffing ourselves with burgers, chips, and all the trimmings.

As the afternoon ended, I sat among the moms at the picnic table as they enthusiastically divided up the leftover hot dogs, sodas, and desserts. No-one thought to offer me a thing. Though no-one suspected it, my feelings were a little bruised. No, I didn't need the food. And most of the moms had given little thought to where the picnic spread had come from. But the slight was significant enough that I recalled it in the train station six months later.

Then it hit me! How much more slighted God must feel when, as recipients of his enormous generosity, we're reluctant to share a portion of our resources with him. Just as I didn't need the potato salad, he doesn't need our money. But he does crave our gratitude—our acknowledgement that all we have is from him.

While Valentine's story may not have much to do with roses, chocolates, and heart-shaped chocolates Christians have long understood that love is much costlier, stronger, and lasting and more difficult than the cheap romanticism of our age.

God's Valentine for YOU really tells YOU what true love is. 

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another I John 4:1-11 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! I John 3:1

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:17-18

God is in a relentless passionate pursuit of YOU!  No matter who you are or where you are, no matter or how far it takes He will find you! His Love will never be exhausted in His pursuit of you!

With His Love,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com

Busting Myths About Romance and Intimacy

Thanks for engaging with last week's blog. Based upon the response I thought you all might benefit from another blog about singleness. According to the 2010 U.S. Census 52% of the US adult population are not married. Because most people will be single either due to death, divorce or choice this subject matter is culturally relevant to all of us.

Today, like it or not, Americans are becoming more like Europeans and are not getting married by choice. Co-habitation is up over 500% over the last decade and the average age of first time marriages are the oldest ever in American history. If you’re married and you think this subject is not for you please think about those you care about who are not married or perhaps consider your own kid’s welfare.

To have the best possible relationships you and your friends could benefit by knowing the myths of romance and intimacy. Myths like:  thinking that someone will meet your fundamental intimacy needs, someone will make you happy and will take away your loneliness... How is loneliness different from aloneness? 

Intimacy is not marriage, it's not a destination, it's not a plateau  or a destination. Intimacy is more about direction than arrival... Last week’s blog ‘Is it Better to be Married or Single?’ and this blog and their audio links recorded 'live' at Woodmen Valley Chapel are worth your time. To listen to this life changing message click here.

Your comments are most welcome.

With Gratitude,

Mark
mark@startingoverworkshops.com