Live in Harmony

NPR's radio show This American Life ran a segment about a marketing executive from Colombia named Jose Miguel Sokoloff. The government of Columbia hired Jose to run an ad campaign that would convince the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia or FARC guerrilla rebels to demobilize and reenter society.

In 2010 Jose and his team ran a campaign called "Operation Christmas," but they saved their most effective ad campaign for last. After three Christmas ad campaigns, due to political changes [Jose] and his team knew they had to try something new.

Then in 2012, the two warring sides began peace talks that seemed very promising. So, the question was no longer: Is this a winnable war? but this: Since the war is probably going to end, will my community back home take me in again? Will my family still accept me?

And that's when they dropped probably their biggest emotional bomb, a campaign they called simply "Mothers' Voices." They found 37 mothers of guerrilla fighters who were willing to give them pictures of those fighters as children.

Jose said, “It was important that they gave us pictures of the kids when they were small, because in order to protect them, we needed to make sure that only the person in the picture would be able to recognize himself. And the message was, "Before you were a guerrilla, you were my child. Come back home. I'm waiting for you."

They printed up thousands of these posters and hung them in towns that the guerrillas moved through and nailed them to trees as well. With a simple, moving focus, the "Mothers' Voices" proved you don't have to do something huge to win someone over. In this case, you just needed a mom and her love for her wayward child. 331 guerillas came out of the jungle and went home to their mothers.

Although our experiences are different than this our hearts can relate to this amazing story of re-connection. We all need re-connection and harmony in our relationships, but it’s far easier said than done. What does that look like for you and I? What can we do to foster harmony and improve our relationships?

Six heart attitudes that fosters harmony and improves our relationships
Sympathy - Understanding, validating, and affirming someone in their sorrow.
It’s much easier to rejoice with someone than to be with them in their sadness. Sympathy meets two basic needs:

1. We all have a need to be understood. 

2. We all need our feelings validated.  It’s great when someone not only understands us, but validates our feelings. We might not feel the way they do, but we can validate them anyway.

How do I become more sympathetic? Use your ears more. When we listen intentionally, we’re saying, “You matter to me, your valuable!”

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  James 1:19

The problem with slowing down to be a better listener is that we’re in such a hurry to get our point across. We want people to understand us that we can miss out on what someone is actually saying. Seek first to understand, then to be understood! 

If I’m sympathetic to you I’ll be more likely to cut you some slack. For some the source of conflict in their lives is because their experiences have never been validated by anyone. We might not give someone the time of day or care about their story.  We may not “feel the way they do,” but we don’t need to belittle or downgrade them or ridicule their fears and doubts.

How would you rate yourself on a scale 1-10?  If most say you’re always understanding give yourself a 7-8. If people closet to you tell you that you ignore their feelings all the time give yourself a 1. You get the idea.

Loyalty – Be committed to each other. Were in this together!

If you’re Christ follower you and I are not in competition with each other, were on the same team to cooperate and work together! When were irritated with someone we can get so focused on the problem we can forget about the value of the relationship. Stop attacking each other and ask what’s the best way we can work this out?

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves…Accept one another.   Romans 12:10; 15:7

I might angry with you, but I’m committed to you and our relationship. We might vehemently disagree, but were on the same team and I will be loyal to you no matter the cost. Accepting someone doesn’t mean I approve of their choices and that’s hard! I got faults, you got faults, but we make allowances within reason.

Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 1 Thessalonians 4:9

Join us next time for more heart attitudes that fosters harmony and improves our relationships.