Millions are inundated with the myth that there is a perfect match for them. Somewhere ‘out there’ is the perfect match for me, my true soul mate, the person who fits me like a glove, who fits my soul the way a key fits into a lock.
Every week over 30 million are on the elusive search for the perfect match. So, one turns over every stone or possible lead only to discover after an exhausting pursuit, ‘it just isn’t so.’ Then, after their empty pursuit many become pessimistic, “Where have all the good guys gone?” Some even come to a place of despair and hopelessness desperately wanting something or someone.
Our longings for someone is strong and the thought of our future can become painful. Many philosophers, theologians and psychologists have written that the soul cannot survive for long in a state of despair, but we find a way to manage it by resignation. Learning to accept the inevitability of our circumstances with serenity is a good course of action, although definitely not easy.
But resignation alone cannot sustain a life
The writer Ernest Hemingway (don’t let the romanticized Hemingway’s role in in the Midnight in Paris fool you) said, “Sooner or later, the world breaks everyone, and those who are broken are strongest in the broken places.”
Sometimes that is true
But sometimes people write nice things they hope to be true only to find they don’t help. Hemingway himself didn’t get stronger and ended his own life because his pain was too great.
But, there is always HOPE which is not based on circumstances, but rather in God.
Many hope for a lot of things, but the good news is that hope can be experienced. Hanging around hopeful people can really help too. Yet, none of us can ensure that things will work out the way we want them to, but we can ask ourselves, ”How would the person I want to be face this situation?”
We might not be able to change our situation, but many of our situations are temporary and the person you are becoming will go on. You have to live with you. What are you going to do about your circumstance or better yet, who are you going to become through it?
Adversity can change your priorities about what really matters. Billy Bean, former GM of the Oakland Athletics, whose character was portrayed in the Academy Award nominated movie ’Money Ball’, decided his daughter was worth more than the highest paid GM in baseball (12M).
Disappointment and adversity can point us in a different direction.
While I was teaching a Bible study in a prison I met several who pointed themselves in a different direction. Their circumstance helped them see what was really important in life. A few were formerly rich and had traveled the world, but told me if they were to visit one more place before they die it wouldn’t be luxurious places, but rather their prison cell where they met God.
Hope points us beyond ourselves.
In a difficult world where at times it can seem that nothing is going up we may ask, “What’s going up for me?” One thing that can ‘go up’ in our lives is the opportunity for you and me to trust God. Our trust in God can always can go up! It isn’t easy, but it’s wide open because God’s grace and His love are always available!
For more about meaningful relationships check out our blogs on ‘Dating’