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Building bridges of trust is possible
Yet, our relational histories, to a large extent, can hinder us in trusting others. Whether we recall intentional or unintentional wounds from others they impact us in how we perceive others’ intentions.
Some find it extremely difficult if not impossible to trust others. They just haven’t seen enough integrity that would merit trust. An individual’s capacity for trust depends on their childhood, background and experiences. They have been let down countless times. I get that.
Yet, Jesus told His disciples, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” He had been walking with them for a few years and trusted his friends with his life. Even in the garden when He asked for prayer they fell asleep and hours later would deny Him. Yet he loved them.
We can build bridges of trust in an age of distrust.
“Demonstrate a propensity to trust. Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust. Extend conditionally to those who are earning your trust. Do be quick to forgive-whether or not we choose to trust in the future, we always need to forgive.” John McGee
The more trusting we become the easier it is for another to trust us in a personal relationship.
Improving our listening will help immensely. Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears and your eyes and heart.
Don’t assume you know what matters most to others.
Don’t presume you have all the answers or all the questions. We need to be patient with other’s progress. If we judge others on how far they need to go according to our criteria we quench trust and we unintentionally drive them away.
If we want to develop trust and enjoy people today we need to allow room for their growth. Intimacy builds on trust, but an initial risk must be taken before trust can develop. There is no intimacy without risk. The risk is an intelligent leap of trust. Once taken, the more one puts into a relationship in trust, the more commitment increases.
Sometimes we want people to be trustworthy, yet we fail to realize our role in developing trust. It is so much easier to expect change from others than to work on transforming our own hearts to trust not only God, but others as well.
