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“Without effort, feelings of gratitude are often fleeting, passing as quickly as they come. For example, I’m grateful to have a clean bill of health but gripe as soon as a cold interferes with my busy life. I have a kitchen filled with food but complain about cooking and closet filled with clothes but, “nothing to wear.” Tiffany Musik Matthews
Researchers know the benefits of gratitude and how to foster higher levels of gratitude. Research suggests that gratitude can’t simply be grouped with other emotions, like happiness or anger, because unlike other emotions, gratitude takes a conscious effort. In order to be grateful, we must first take the time to recognize that something has been done for our benefit. The culture’s prevalent attitude, ‘of what have you done for me lately,’ reflects expectation not gratitude.
Gratitude is reflected in acts of kindness and generosity and is an indicator that something good has taken place. Is there a difference between experiencing a warm, fuzzy feeling from time to time and living a life of gratitude?
Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at UC Davis says,
“Feeling grateful is not the same as being a grateful person, a grateful person is one who regularly affirms the goodness in his or her life and recognizes that the sources of this goodness lie at least partially outside of themselves.” Notice Emmons says outside ourselves, not from us or because of us…
Those with a grateful heart feel more intensely grateful, on a regular basis, for multiple things, toward multiple people. While being grateful for positive events or moments of good fortune seems simple, but having a disposition toward gratitude suggests something more. For a Christ follower a grateful heart is being thankful for salvation and for God’s blessings, but it is able to be grateful in difficult circumstances.
Being truly grateful extends beyond convenience. As receivers of salvation and divine grace, we should strive to be grateful in all seasons of our lives. Titus 3:4-5. The evidence is clear that cultivating gratitude in our lives makes us happier and healthier people, but practicing gratitude is easier said than done.
We can all find reasons to be grateful, but unfortunately it’s more difficult to be appreciative of others. Kelsy Richardson, who is currently conducting graduate research on gratitude at Fuller Seminary, named pride as a major deterrent to gratitude said,
“You would think that the opposite of being grateful is being ungrateful, but it’s actually selfishness or self-conceit. When you believe you deserve the good things you receive, you don’t feel the need to be grateful to others.”
In today’s age of entitlement many are mistaken to think that all social problems, economic insecurity, poverty, racism and even their own discomfort will end today or tomorrow. Many have come to expect that their lives should have less discomfort, but we are not God and cannot guarantee what we desire. Gratitude also goes against our need to feel in control of our environment. “Sometimes with gratitude you just have to accept life as it is and be grateful for what you have,” says Emmons.
In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Brother David Steindl-Rast
Grateful,
Mark
mark@markskalberg.com
