How to Enjoy People in Your Life

The Book of Philippians, written by Paul from a Roman prison, is often called the "Epistle of Joy." Despite his hardships, Paul’s letter radiates positivity, emphasizing joy and fellowship, especially in relationships. If you want to enjoy the rest of your life journey with us through Philippians. In Philippians 1:1-11, Paul shares four keys to enjoying the people in our lives, offering practical wisdom for today.

First, be grateful for people. Paul, despite being beaten, flogged, and imprisoned in Philippi (Acts 16), chose to focus on the positive. He remembered the faith of the Philippian church and their support, not the pain. We can choose to recall the best moments with others and let go of grudges, fostering gratitude for their strengths rather than dwelling on their flaws. To be grateful for the good and pleasant memories is a choice.

Second, pray purposefully. Paul prayed for the Philippians with joy, asking God to grow their love, wisdom, and discernment (Phil.1:4, 9-11). The quickest way to change a relationship from bad to good is to start thanking God in prayer for them. Specific, thankful prayers for others can transform our perspective and even influence them. Instead of criticizing, pray for their needs, and watch how it shifts your heart and their life.

Third, be patient with others' progress. Paul looked at people's futures, not just their past. He was patient with their progress. While people may leave many things unfinished, not God. What God starts doing in your life, he will complete it! Some of us need to learn to enjoy people right now.

Paul was confident that God, who began a good work in the Philippians, would complete it (Philippians 1:6). People are works in progress, and expecting perfection leads to frustration. By focusing on how far someone has come rather than how far they have to go, we cultivate patience and hope, trusting God’s transformative work.

Finally, love people from the heart. Paul’s deep affection for the Philippians stemmed from God’s love, not his own strength (Philippians 1:7-8). God's love is the only kind of love that lasts through heartache and difficulty. Human love falters. Love isn't something I work up, it's poured into us by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) as we let him live in us day by day, moment by moment. When we let His love guide us, people move from being "on our nerves" to being on our hearts.

Paul’s circumstances—imprisonment, trials, and uncertainty didn’t steal his joy because his focus was on Christ. He saw the Philippians as saints (holy people,v.2), not because of their perfection but because they were called by God. This perspective applies to us: every believer is a saint, with dual citizenship in heaven and earth.

To enjoy the people in our lives, we must choose gratitude, pray purposefully, be patient, and love with God’s heart.

Reflect: Who do you need to thank? Who needs your prayers? Who are you impatient with? By applying these principles, we can find joy in relationships, no matter the circumstances.

What Is Your Aim?

A year ago, we were different than we are today, and one year from now, we will have changed somehow. This new year many make overly optimistic plans for this new year, yet optimism is no guarantee of success.  Others think that a good intention means a new beginning, and they can make a fresh start whenever they want. That would be nice if it were that easy.

This time of year, many get out their mental calculators, keeping scores of their victories and losses. Most of us hope this year will be better than last.  Maybe we can change our perspective from ‘this is how things should be? It’s not easy to let go of all the mental stuff we insist we need for tomorrow and all the other things we continue to haul with us from our yesterdays.

When you get up in the morning to face a day, what do you say to yourself from the beginning to the end of the day? So many could say, “I don’t even think like that; I just get up and do what I’ve got to do.” It’s evident in the Bible that God wants us to aim at something more meaningful.

We make it our aim to be well pleasing to Him. 2 Corinthians 5:9

Being aimless is like leaves blowing in the wind in the backyard. The wind blows that way; they go that way. They tumble, bounce, and press against a fence but have nowhere to go, like so many who are in a hurry with no place to go.

God did not create us in his image to be like leaves blowing in the wind. He has so much more for us. One thing that we can all count on this new year is change

Some changes we gladly choose, and others we don’t. Yet, despite our high hopes and best efforts, we often fail to change in the ways God desires. We can’t just grit our teeth and force ourselves to act with compassion. It’s not about trying harder on our own.

Yet, many of us have become far too passive in our pursuit of change, wholeness, and peace. Could it be in our therapeutic age we have fallen into the passive mindset of “I’m just dealing with my issues” or “I’m trying to survive.”

But I see a more non-passive approach to change in the New Testament. Namely, set your mind.
“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things on earth.” Colossians 3:2

God has something far more different in mind for us this new year. There is a better way. 

Live for what matters to God
We are cruel to ourselves if we try to live in this world without knowing the God whose world it is and who runs it. Knowing God is to first know His character and His ways. Knowing God is life’s greatest pursuit and crucially important to the living of our lives.

Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom. Let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his riches; but let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me. Jeremiah 9:23-24

If you’re making plans today, submit them to God. If god’s answer is different from yours, be ready to embrace His plan. His way is always best!

We cannot change things and people, but we can leave a lasting impact on other people’s lives if we choose to live for what matters to God. God has been changing the hearts and minds of people and nations for thousands of years, and He desires to change yours’ and mine, too.

Here’s the deal: God significantly changes our lives when we live out a heart's cry of, “Not my will, but thy will be done. What do you want me to do for You Lord?” And that will be enough. The God that does not change changes everything!

Be grateful that His love for you will never change! That’s one thing you can count on today and forever!

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and relied on your faithfulness. Psalm 26:3; 33:22

 

Trust in A Time of Mistrust

From Israelis and Palestinians, to politicians, CEOs, corporations and institutions of every kind, even to telling our kids not to trust strangers, mistrust is everywhere.

According to Gallup poll in July 2022 Americans are less likely to trust the media, Congress, the Presidency and educational institutions than a year ago. One third of the 40 million people looking for someone online are married, but they don’t put that in their profile. So, it’s understandable that people struggle with who to trust.

Lets’ face it we all have trust issues, yet we all want to hear, ‘I trust you.’

“Generally speaking, a loss of trust created by a violation of character (integrity or intent) is far more      difficult to restore than a loss of trust created by a violation of competence (capabilities or results).”                                                                                                                                  Stephen Covey

All of us have been wounded by a lack of trust from an institution or more importantly a person and it’s impacted how we perceive people and our relationships. I’ve told my kids regarding their social world to trust the people who prove they’re trustworthy.

Now, that is reasonable, but what does that look like? What is the basis of trust and how can I develop or restore trust without having a cynical perspective? Especially after having been lied to and hurt as a result? Though it may be difficult, in most cases, lost trust can be restored and often even enhanced.

If you want to increase your relational trust in your life and have more rewarding relationships then there are a few things to consider.

We can trust God
I know that seems cliché to some of you, but it helps us to trust others by trusting God. The concept of trusting God has been so trivialized, overly simplified and misunderstood that many have a skewed perspective on what it means to trust God.

Trusting God and others is not easy. Unfortunately, some have even stigmatized God by the bad examples of His followers. They’ve been given an inaccurate spin and developed their own presuppositions of what God is like or even if there is a God.

It’s not surprising trusting God is a common theme of the Bible with the words trust, faith or belief used interchangeably from cover to cover. The Bible makes it very clear that trusting God is a response to who and what He does. To trust Him with your life is the result of His revealing Himself to us through creation, His deeds, His Word, His faithfulness to keep His promises.

God is not a man that He should lie (Heb.6:17-18) or repent. What a refreshing reminder considering the lack of truth telling today. God never needs to make an excuse for what He has said or done.

The Bible goes on to say that it’s impossible to please God without faith (Heb.11:6). So, the Bible is clear that we cannot have a relationship with God without trust (John 3:16) Who needs a dead religion when you can have an intimate trusting relationship that matters and will last forever? Now hopefully, most of us would not trust someone we do not know unless we’re being rescued from a burning building or they’re handing out cash…

Yet, God is altogether different, transcending the boxes we put Him in. He desires us. He has and still is relentlessly and passionately pursuing us even if we think otherwise.  He has initiated trust with us not the other way around.

Trust implies a relationship. From the Hebrews’ backs against the wall at the Red Sea, to Daniel in the Lion’s den, to David and his slingshot, to Job’s suffering, God has not deserted His people and He never will. God has proven He is trustworthy. Grappling and understanding God’s unfathomable love for us enables us to not only trust him but others as well.

 “The great spiritual task facing me is to so fully trust that I belong to God that I can be free, to be free to receive love from people and be grateful for all the signs of God’s presence in the world. I am convinced that I will truly be able to love the world when I fully believe that I am loved far beyond it’s’ boundaries.” Henri Nouwen

We can trust others.
Yet, our relational histories, to a large extent, can hinder us in trusting others. Whether we recall intentional or unintentional wounds from others they impact us in how we perceive others’ intentions.

Some find it extremely difficult if not impossible to trust others. They just haven’t seen enough integrity that would merit trust. An individual’s capacity for trust depends on their childhood, background and experiences. They have been let down countless times. I get that. 

 Yet, Jesus told His disciples, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” He had been walking with them for a few years and trusted his friends with his life. Even in the garden when He asked for prayer, they fell asleep and hours later would deny Him. Yet he loved them.   

How can we build bridges of trust in an age of distrust?  
“Demonstrate a propensity to trust. Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust. Extend conditionally to those who are earning your trust. Do be quick to forgive-whether or not we choose to trust in the future, we always need to forgive.” John McGee

The more trusting we become the easier it is for another to trust us in a personal relationship.

Improving our listening will help immensely
Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears and your eyes and heart. Don’t assume you know what matters most to others. Don’t presume you have all the answers or all the questions. We need to be patient with other’s progress. If we judge others on how far they need to go according to our criteria we quench trust and we unintentionally drive them away.

If we want to develop trust and enjoy people today, we need to allow room for their growth Intimacy builds on trust, but an initial risk must be taken before trust can develop. There is no intimacy without risk. The risk is an intelligent leap of trust. Once taken, the more one puts into a relationship in trust, the more commitment increases.

We want people to be trustworthy, yet we fail to realize our role in developing trust. It is so much easier to expect change from others than to work on transforming our own hearts to trust not only God, but others as well.